Being Happy Is A Choice... So Why Choose To Be Unhappy?
Back in Anarchapulco with my unruly dogs and talking about how important it is to get control of your mind to find happiness.
My dogs seem to be happy all the time. Yours probably are too.
Why are they happy all the time and we aren't? It's because they don't think too much! And we shouldn't either!
But, it's not just thinking too much. It's what we think about too.
In today's "walk n' talk", I discuss the steps I've taken to get better physically which has allowed me to get more control over my mind... which has led to me losing my depression and feeling happy most of the time. Something I don't remember having felt in at least 20 years.
Here's more of my thoughts:
In the end happiness is actually a choice. You just need to know how to learn to make that choice. And, once you do, why would you choose to be unhappy?
Perhaps there's comfort in misery for some who have been used to it as a loyal companion for a lot of their life?
Yes.....I understand what you are saying here. A belief that being miserable is a strange self preservation. The realistic pessimist?
I like what you are saying but I disagree. As a kid who was bullied I wasn't able to be happy until I got to college. Now, I'm very happy other than the stress of adulthood and being broke I'm very happy. Sometimes, it's not a choice.
Shoulda quit the government indoctrination camps or headed down to the MMA gym. Either would have fixed it.
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I think it takes effort to be happy, you need to do something - today I am very lazy, not doing much and I am not so happy.
Yes, to be happy, one must have something to look forward to. Caring for someone or some thing (like plants for example) giving of yourself brings real solid happiness. If you can remember to get up and move...just move...energy begets more energy...then your laziness will fade away. you will not be so depressed and will find happiness just from feeling the sunshine on your face.
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This is probably the best piece of anti-bullying advice I've ever come across.
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I agree with you about everyone not having the choice to be happy. Not everyone is as fortunate as others. Some people go through things in theor life, which would make it difficult dor them to just be happy!
I'd say the choice lies within how you view your situation. Money isn't happiness. Would you say the bullying made you stronger perhaps? Temporal happiness and long-term happiness are different things I'd say.
I like the definition of happiness Aristotle proposed..'eudamonia'...which is essentially fulfilling our purpose; one of fulfillment. To him, if we practice virtuos activities each day rather than let the doldrums of socialization weigh down on us...we were in a good place.
I stuttered throughout Middle School and High School and took on a whole bunch of 'bullying' and was looked down upon by some who didn't know my true capabilities. When I realized I was in-control of it, for the most part, and became mostly fluent...I reached a level where I'm glad I went through that hardship.
[More on Aristotle here if you're interested: http://www.philosophybasics.com/branch_eudaimonism.html]
I know being broke can be a stressor, but the best I can say is try to take things relatively; as hard as it might seem sometimes....at least you have your life. Many who wanted theirs have lost it without wanting too...at young ages...in tragic accidents, etc.. I know it's easier said that done....but giving it a shot is worth it isnt it?
Bulling made me a sarcastic asshole haha but I am very happy with life now. Money is not everything but it is needed.
Thats a hood thought
Shoulda' punched that bully right in the fuckin' mouth. You'd have been a lot happier a lot sooner. Worked for me.
I agree with you @jpinka
I think there's a limit to really being happy with whatever you have
When I was in high school, I literally hated my life (because I hated high school and felt I didn't belong). So I remember they were one of the worst years of my life
Damn Skippy. You should add more tags to this post like blog and writing. I only see life
I agree, it isn't a choice. Being happy or not happy is the effect of a cause. The method is what makes you happy or unhappy. You can chose to do actions that will make you feel happy or sad, but you cannot chose to be sad or happy.
For example, saying someone should just be happy when their Mom dies is extremely naive. Keeping yourself locked in your room won't help with you being happy overtime, but talking to family members and going out will good company will make you happier than sitting in your room.
That's one way to look at it. 🙃
I DISAGREE Completely.
It's ONLY a choice if you already well off. All you basic Needs are met (you'll need enough money) and family/friends have no Health issues.
After and ONLY after that. You can choose to be happy or not.
I grew up dirt poor in roach infested dumps. My parents moved me 16 times from K-12. It was my choice to either use those things as excuses to fail or to overcome them. I overcame them and was successful. Success is not easy for me either. I have to work harder than lots of people. The key to my success though is that I do not give up.
It doesn't matter what hand you've been dealt in life. If you are tenacious enough and willing to work hard enough, you will succeed. There is no good excuse.
It was my choice to either use those things as excuses to fail or to overcome them. It doesn't matter what hand you've been dealt in life. If you are tenacious enough and willing to work hard enough, you will succeed. There is no good excuse.
this is a really good message. Thank you.
Even if you work hard and are successful doesn't mean you will be happy... maybe being too focused on success can have the opposite effect.
Well, we should always be improving ourselves, but by work I mean working on something you are passionate about.
I have done IT work for 20 years and hate it. It still didn't make me unhappy with life though.
The best solution is making your work something you love to do with or without pay. A good example is a friend of mine who snowboards. He found a way to live off doing what he loves to do.
Yeah and income isn't always a measure of happiness or success either. You see people living in the worst conditions and they still manage to be very happy people. I think surroundings are a big part of it.
I have been homeless and living outside before and the memories were some of the best and worst of my life. I am now a mother and home owner and am having the best and worst memories as well. But it is true that when being homeless those happy times were when my basic needs were met...
Money can buy happiness, too.
And, there is people with millions that cant buy himself happiness.
I agree. Happiness is a choice once your basic needs have been met. The question is how much money do you need to be happy? There are some people who party until they run out of money
And there are billionaires who are happy to just play bridge and happy to give all away when they die
Money is not every thing. It can fulfill our needs not bring happiness. Many rich people are stressed. and poor are happy because they had not much targets. They are contented . It is up to a person how he feels happiness in less resources. It is whole success of life.
Same here, LOVE
No I disagree, even the rich sometimes have periods of sadness. Being unhappy doesn't change the situation and remember happiness has an atmosphere for positivity and productivity.
Why would an emotion ever be a choice? You cant choose to love, or hate, or feel hungry or thirsty or jeolous. Why do you believe you could choose happiness?
Happiness chooses you. And you can be happy even though your basic needs arent fulfilled.
Thats what I'm talking about man!
Totally agree - it is state of mind. Something reminded me of this earlier in the year which I now try to hold on to. Great post.
hangout.
Agreed
Althought this is true for most, some people just don't get a choice.
The conditions they are born on (place, family, wealth) sometimes just don't allow a person to simply choose a happy life.
Great post :)
You are totally right.