This woman was raped, then did a TED Talk with the man who did it!
I have watched A LOT of TED Talks, but this is one of the more unusual ones.
You often don't hear about a rape ending in a positive way. These two found it within them selves to help each other through the traumatic experience, and set the bar for what is possible. In my opinion, you have to be an incredibly strong person to forgive someone that raped you, and work together to overcome the experience.
Summary
The scene is set when they were both fairly young, and actually in a relationship at the time. Alcohol was involved when the deed occurred, and before what happened had set in, he moved away. It turns out that the experience was slowly eating away at both of them.
I don't want to give too much away! Watch it for yourself, their approach is unheard of.
- Our story of rape and reconciliation | Thordis Elva and Tom Stranger
What are your thoughts on this? Would you be able to forgive your perpetrator giving the circumstance?
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Men and women have the right to dress as they wish, to walk alone at night, to flirt, to be sexy, to dance provocatively, to drink, to make out . . . . . .and to say “no” or “stop” at any time. Drinking unsafely and walking alone at night likely do make a person more vulnerable, most survivors would agree with that. But no one has the right to rape us, ever, no matter what we say or do. Were there choices you could have made that would have protected you? Of course. We also can spend our entire lives never leaving the house. The fact is rape will not stop happening until rapists stop raping. No one has the right to perpetrate abuse against another. No one had the right to rape you!
I agree with you fully! We all deserve to do as we please, without another person harming you or dictating the outcome of anything you do with your life. Thanks for your in depth comment!!!
Tremendous shock!
Crazy to think but yes I've literally done the same thing and reconciled in a similar situation. I don't think that it would be the same in a situation where it was a complete stranger and not someone I hadn't had consensual sex with before. I don't think that what people think they did or not is relevant but I do think that societal norms play a big part, not in excusing, but in the ability to forgive. I did this for me, not for him.
Good for you!!! I would imagine there was a huge weight lifted from you afterwards. You seem like a self realized strong woman. Thanks for sharing that @wonderwomancodes!
I will not forgive those people because they cause the victims of pain to be never healed
Forgiveness heals you! Read up about it and I also know this from experience:)
But you have pain that will never heal
Do you think this woman has made a recovery from it?
life must stand up but there are injuries never healed
Life is great. The rape survivor is shocked and looks at the world from a very small window, he perceives only what is associated with his condition. He looks in a small hole, and he thinks it's the whole world. You have to allow yourself to push the boundaries, to understand that life continues, she breathes, she knocks in the window. Focus not on tragedy, but on finding a way out of depression.
Inward is definitely where the damage is done. If it is not handled and over came it will set up in you like a disease. You have to come to terms with it and not let it take anything else from you. Positive outlooks are needed!
The girl is very brave. to share the same platform on the screen with the person, who may be the reason for every day nightmare for her.
👏👏👏👏 Applause for her.
Yeah it takes some big people to be able to do what they are doing.
Wow! Forgiveness is hard but when you forgive it’s not for the person that did you wrong it’s for you that’s why God says to forgive! Great article! Keep them coming.
Forgiveness is definitely benefiting yourself. That's what a lot of people need to have a better understanding of.
That’s right! Thanks for the upvote! I absolutely like articles like this one! Please do more :)
Wow. This is really great. They are both brave people.
Thank you!
If it's a complete stranger, then things will be different.
I can see that being totally different.
That's really tough to forgive someone who raped him :(
I believe the female was the one that got raped. Haha It has to be a really hard thing to do.
hmmm yup