Claiming your own time. A healthy thing to do.

in #life7 years ago

I'm home alone for the night (read till 23:00) for the first time in some weeks. I wanted to talk to my English mates online who I haven't spoken too in a while but I decided to claim some 'me' time instead. I need it.

I poured myself a nice glass of wine and through the speakers comes the sweet sound of Jazz.

O yeah.


me


I have had this need to be alone sometimes for as long as I can remember. My earliest memory is birthday parties at our own home. All the people and all the sounds of all those voices made my head explode to the point I just wanted to go hide.

And I used to this too. Just got to my room for 30 minutes to reset and then I was fine. I would come out again refreshed.

But when you become older this is less (or not) accepted. You can't just get up and leave for 30 minutes, this means you are not having a good time in the mind of most people. But that's not true of course.

So, it has happened more than once that Bianca told me at a party that I look bored. But that's not what is happening. It's my mind that has shut down. I'm still there and all I need is a 30-minute break from it all and I would be fine.

I have been alone for around 27 years before I started to come alive and started to really enjoy life and live. I'm 33 now but alone time is still important to me. I guess by nature I'm an introvert. But I do need it less than before which is a good thing.

I'm lucky that Bianca also likes her alone time. So it happens very often that I'm on the computer creating a story while she is in the same room doing her own thing. We don't speak to each other but the company makes it special.

But the ultimate recharge is being on your own with no chance of being interrupted, some nice music and a nice glass of wine.

But don't get me wrong.

I'm still looking forward to her coming home tonight and I only want it to be her.

But not for another two hours :)

Goodnight Steemit!


signature Follow Me @exyle

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Have you ever taken the Myer's-Briggs personality assessment? I took it through a team building class at work it was very eye opening. We're all a mix of introvert and extrovert to varying degrees. I need that time to reset too, then I can be outgoing and social. Man, that is a wonderful album. I play it frequently! Do you like Django Reinhardt?

I have never taken the test. But even without it, I think I'm a mix of both. I'm listening to Django now. Had not heard of him. Wow! what a sound! Thanks, man!

You're welcome. Django's music is great when you need a lift in mood. We found out about him when we were in Amsterdam. We walked in a cafe called Little Collins (great food btw) and they were playing "Minor Swing". Fats Waller is another good one to listen to if you like more classic stuff.

I have found that the older I get the more autonomy I have - even though it may not be acceptable to enjoy alone time, fuck those people who feel like they need to tell you that you can't have it. When I was a kid I was constantly yelled at for "recharging," and I was ashamed for my need for alone time. Now I realize that it may be unusual, but it's not unhealthy or odd to need an introverted space.

@Exyle, have you ever read the book The Quiet by Susan Cain? This line here made me think of it: "But the ultimate recharge is being on your own with no chance of being interrupted, some nice music and a nice glass of wine."

There are people that "recharge" by being by themselves, and there are people that "recharge" by being around others. It was a great book that explains how introversion/extroversion works, and how those terms aren't what people think they are.

My big takeaway from the book: I know I need off time to recharge so I can be "on" when I go out, to go parties, etc.

Not heard of the book! But I like the insight!

Check it out!

Hey @exyle,

I am in total agreement!

In nowadays' busy life, constantly being "on" does not give your brain a chance to rest. Having your own quality time once a while allows you to clear your mind, focus and think more clearly.

Can I have another glass of wine please? lol...

Agreed 😂🍷

constantly being "on" does not give your brain a chance to rest.

That's a great way to describe it! Sure you can have another glass :)

I understand completely. We all need some time alone to just "be". Just turn down the heat of our emotions, thoughts, hopes & worries to a steady simmer and let them stew for a bit. What usually comes out is greater perspective and a feeling of relaxation and direction. It's almost akin to gaining some sense of control, of comfortableness in your own skin, and putting things back on your terms where things make sense. Of course, a glass of good vino and good music always helps! :) Have a great weekend!

Thanks, man! You have a great weekend too!

Nice post my friend. Some alone time is very much needed once in a while. It makes you mentally relaxed and healthy. Nikola Tesla once said "Be alone, that is the secret of invention; be alone, that is when ideas are born!"

Love the quote! Awesome reply!

I was expecting a video, but what you wrote I could relate perfectly since I'm an introvert too. I feel breathless if I spend too much time around too many people. The 'me' time recharges the introverts which I firmly believe. As you said you are indeed lucky, a silent company is worth a million dollars to an introvert, it's magical.

It's not selfish, it's who you are, it's always been that way, even when you were very little. Because you know yourself and your needs, you can handle it perfectly.

Liking to have"me" time and preferring to be alone is also a healthy reflection of yourself. It means that you are at peace with yourself and are comfortable to spend quality time with yourself and reflecting on what's important to you. It just comes down to understanding and catering to your needs thereby making yourself happy and in doing so , when your with others, your happiness "rubs off" on them , making you more engaging and fun. So everybody wins and benefits , when you pursue your "me" time.

I totally get alone time. I am usually the first one up in my house and that gives me about 45 minutes to 1 hour of uninterrupted time. If that gets disturbed, it really puts me in a foul mood. So, I know exactly what you mean

I feel you 100%! Don't disturb alone time :)

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