Intentional Insomnia

I don’t sleep. Not enough at least. It’s not like I have insomnia or anything like that, but I feel like I have better things to do than sleep. Most of the time, I run around with only 3-4 hours sleep per night. I’m aware that normal adult should double the time.

Manic state

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Lack of sleeps effects differently on different people. Some people are more sensitive to it and get all cranky just lacking an hour from their normal night of sleep. Some people become easily annoyed. As said, people reacts differently. I’ve been doing some human testing on subject, with my self of course! My first state of lacking sleep is pure mania.

This state can hold up from days to even months, but usually it holds up like 3weeks. In this time I’m (or at least I feel like it) invincible! I have so much energy to do anything, and everything. My head is filled with ideas and I create more before I even have time to write down previous ones. In the manic state I have a tendency to be more social than I usually am. And amazingly efficient and productive, I even focus on things a lot better. For obvious reasons I like the manic state.

It is like runners high for me. I have no knowledge about the real biochemical reactions behind this feeling, but I assume that my body is trying to compensate lack of sleep by drowning my brain with natures own opiates, endorphins. Endorphins as a chemicals act a lot like medically engineered counterpart morphine. So, if my body actually compensates lack of sleep with endorphins it would explain the high feeling while manic state.

The Drop

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As always, everything good comes to an end. The drop from all power mightiness comes at some point. Sometimes sooner, and sometimes later, but it always comes. At this point I have ”suffered” lack of sleep from weeks to months. Well, not suffered as I actually like when I feel like I don’t need to sleep and waste time on that.

The drop hits me every time quite viciously. It totally drains energy out of me and makes me feel like I have blocks in my brain. My thoughts are just lost in this slushy labyrinth and they can’t find their way out. And still, it is not about not able to sleep. When I do, I sleep damn fine. It is about prioritizing everything else before sleep. So, with me it is lack of time that causes lack of sleep. For me to sleep normal amount of hours per night, there should be a lot more hours in the day.

When the drop hits me, my brain starts to take these micro naps. I’m seemingly fully awake but there is nothing there, it is like glitch for a few seconds. Sometimes it is that I’m trying to just blink my eyes and they just don’t open immediately, there is a few second delay while my brain tries to reboot. And yes, well aware that it isn’t smart nor healthy to let your body in this state.

The drop causes me to lose every benefit I got from manic phase, I lose interest, focus and drive. I just start coping with things until I have time to the final phase.

The Payback Time

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When I notice that I have reached the state my brain can’t handle anymore, I have to humble down and do what people do. Sleep.

I can use my day offs from work for just sleeping. I don’t like to do that, but every now and then I have no choice. When I allow my self to sleep, I can sleep 2days on row and just wake up for mandatory stuff for a few minutes and then continue sleeping. It depends how severe my sleep deprivation is, but usually day of sleep is enough to recover my ability to act like normal human.

All that said, I have to admit that I have had a few of those precious micro naps while writing this, so I might have to actually sleep tonight. But luckily my all-you-can-sleep day is on Monday so only one more day to cope with the drop.

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^{And thanks @EvelynCarter for the picture<3 I just had to use that sleeping picture because we just look so darn cute in it with @Eveuncovered}