The relief of not being the center of the world

Image

In one of my previous jobs I met the craziest person on earth. Unfortunately this person was my employer. An old lady who was impossible to understand and get along with -even her daughter, her own blood had a huge problem with her. One day she was utterly excited about something and the next day the exact same thing could have make her mad -like really mad! As you can understand, I was in despair. So in one of those moments of despair that I was about to quit this F job and say goodbye for ever to this F old lady, one of my colleagues told me one of the wisest things I have ever been told. "I found out that the key is to not take personally her good words. Thus neither the bad ones will affect you". And that was really the key to my emotional freedom from the lunatic.

This simple but very important phrase she told me, applies to life in general. To stop taking things personally.

An unfortunate interpretation we tend to make is that everything we experience in our lives involves us somehow. As a result, we usually assume that what happens to us is actually about us.

But let me tell you something...Just because something happens to you and causes you to feel a certain way, just because you care or think about something, doesn’t mean it’s about you.

The trap here is the euphoria we feel when good things happen to us. It feels great to think that everything good that happens in our lives happens because we are simply amazing. However the price we pay for personalising those good experiences and making them all about us, is that we must also interpret the bad ones the same way, when we are not the god's gift to the earth anymore. So under certain circumstances you are the "chosen" one, the best of the best that everyone should applaud and when things are bad you are the victim who has been wronged and didn't deserve it. And this has as a result a messed up self-esteem.

The same happens when people criticise you or even reject you. This behaviour more likely has to do with them -their values, their personality, their life situation in general- than it does with you. I hate to tell you that, but other people don’t think about you that much, as they also believe that everything is about them.

So I'm sorry to disappoint you but you're not the center of the world. Neither am I. Don't take everything personally. Good things happen and shit happen as well. You are neither a super hero, nor a total failure. We are all humans with good and bad moments, all equal in front of happiness, success and pain. Deserving it or not is not part of the equation.