Nobody can really help you or even understand!
I can say after reading your article that I understand, but I will not say such a thing because in this moment I canot feel what you feel.
I can say to you :

• stay positive
• a new tomorow is around the corner
• Keep your chin up
  ...and more...
  You don't know me ... so even I try to help you my words will hit a brick wall.
  You are not sick and even doctors or studies tell you that you are sick don't belive them.
  Look back at the ones that you have in your life, can be a brother, sister, dog, cat or even a snake. They matter!
  They care about you!
  No matter the day, the moment in time when you feel down just think about that. Think that you have something precious to you.
  And never forget to you matter to !