The Ex-Gambler

It all started 13 years ago when myself, a young 18-year-old was passed a tip from a close friend at the time, for who was going to be the next England football manager, apparently their uncle’s cousin had an interview for the job. I watched England play occasionally on TV but wasn’t very knowledgeable of football let alone managers. But within 1 week of hearing this news I had withdrawn all my life savings of £2500 which I had saved from my first full time job and placed it on this tip.

The first bookies wouldn’t accept the full amount due to inside information I guess so had to place the other half of my money at a second bookie. Now this tip was considered a huge outsider at odds of 100-1 so if it came true for every £1 that I bet I would receive £100.

Looking back on it its probably one of the stupidest things I have ever done just because of how much of an outsider this person was to be the next England manager but at the time I didn’t even give it a second thought ,probably as the tip came from a close friend so I knew there was a good chance that it was true, turns out this particular person did have an interview but I think ending up with a position on the England u-21 squad , not that it makes any difference.
I even think I convinced the guy behind the counter who took the first bet to have a punt.

So that was my first ever experience inside a betting shop and a bad one at that.
You would think after losing all that money I would never step inside one again but that was just the start of things to come.

It wasn’t soon after that I was back inside the bookies playing roulette on the fixed odds betting terminals where you can place bets off up to £100 a spin. So, within seconds you could lose and then re-bet the same amount. Madness.

This went on for years wasting my entire months wages, month after month, multiple visits per day and even once spending 12 hours straight inside a shop playing on the same terminal chasing the money that I had lost. Very stressful experience and over a very long time. It’s funny, I would sit at the machine for long periods chasing my money and the betting shop staff would come over and offer you free drinks just to try and make you feel more comfortable so that you stay longer.

The shops are only allowed to have 4 fixed odds betting terminals in any one shop in the United Kingdom but that’s still too many. The other sad truth is that the amount of betting shops in the more poor, deprived areas is alarming. Where I used to live I counted 10 betting shops down one high street not even 200 meters apart and I believe the betting shop firms know that there are more people who are desperate in these areas and who are more likely to make a bet, and it’s the government who are letting them get away with it.

Although I believe more needs to be done by the government to help prevent the increase in problem gamblers, drinkers, smokers etc… at the end of the day it all comes down to a personal choice that the individual makes.
In the UK, tobacco is now hidden behind the shelves and displayed in all the same packaging to try and deter the younger generation but if the government were so concerned with are health wouldn’t they just ban tobacco completely? I believe it’s the same with drink, gambling and fire arms in America as it brings into much money. Now I may be wrong but that’s just my opinion.

Very rarely would I leave the bookies in profit, and the times I did I would have lost it all the next day. Anytime I won a decent amount I thought I had a system of some sort and although I ended up losing it all I still thought I could make it all back.

Somewhere inside my head I’m sure I knew that I couldn’t win, I knew the house always wins in the end but it was being blocked by the thoughts of me trying to win my money back and greed.

It distanced me from my friends and family and I just became very depressed. I think I’ve always had an addictive personality, but this was the first time it started to become a problem and have a negative effect on my life.
I kept it all to myself in the beginning and when any one asked me where my money was I just ended up lying.

I’m surprised I manage to hold onto a job knowing how depressed I was, but although I have always been in work, when I had lost money, I would end up selling possessions or buying things on credit and then selling them, still having to pay for them just to earn some quick cash so I could place my next bet. I had no concept of money what so ever racking up huge debts just to feed this addiction.

I’m lucky in a sense that I was living at home when it all started so didn’t have too many responsibilities. Some people have lost a lot more than I did. For some they lose their relationships, homes, businesses and sadly some people get in so deep and in such a mess that they see no way out and so they take their own lives.

When I moved out of my parent’s home and started paying rent I stopped playing with the fixed odd betting terminals and started playing online poker when I saw a documentary about people who had won lots of money. I was never much interested in betting on dogs or horses, just Occasionally I would bet on football accumulators, but this never became a problem.

The horrible cycle of winning and losing even more continued with online poker for a while even forcing my family to step in and send me off to gamblers anonymous but after only few visits I stopped going as I knew that this wouldn’t help me. Some people might find it useful and if there is anyone struggling with a gambling addiction I would recommend at least trying it.

I eventually met up with this wonderful women who is now my long term girlfriend and after living with her and my step son for a while I decided to be honest about my addiction as I had a lot more to lose than just money and a lot more responsibilities. It was through her understanding and my fear of messing everything up that I somehow managed to put a stop to this addiction.

Now although I am still in huge debt, I am slowly chipping away at it month by month and I haven’t had a problem with gambling for few years now. And anyone who has an addiction doesn’t just change after a few days, weeks or months it takes years and it’s an ongoing thing.

People have different views on the subject, some people say that someone who has had a gambling addiction should never bet ever again even £1 on a lottery ticket or they might allow themselves to be pulled back into this vicious cycle. But I believe that betting can be fun and just so long as it doesn’t start becoming a problem in your life then you should be able to have a little flutter now and again.

Even if you have an addictive personality like myself and who is also very impulsive, it’s all about your mind set and self-control. If you feel like you don’t have self-control, then it’s probably not a good idea. I didn’t have before but now I have a completely different mind-set when it comes to a lot of things especially gambling.

So, it is possible to change, people change all the time, but it will be your responsibility to try and keep it under control for the rest of your life and any number of triggers could set it off again whether it’s a break up, divorce, losing one’s job or the death of a loved one. So, it may be a tough road ahead. This can apply to several different addictions also like smoking, drinking etc.

I have heard of live in residential treatment centres where they confiscate your credit cards etc. which initially is a good idea however If you must give someone your credit cards to look after how will you be able to build up your own self-control to stop it from happening in the future. Some people may find that useful though.

Gambling can lead to other addictions such as drink and tobacco addictions.
Being a compulsive gambler can harm your health and relationships and like me leave you in serious debt even years after you have made your last bet. If you have a problem with gambling and you’d like to stop, support and treatment is available.

Believe me when I say having an addiction whether its due to drugs, alcohol, gambling or anything else can turn you into a completely different person and make you do things you never thought you would ever dream of doing especially if you let yourself get pulled in deep enough.

Are you a problem gambler?

Do you bet more than you can afford to lose?
Do you need to gamble with larger amounts of money to get the same feeling?
Have you tried to win back money you have lost (chasing losses) ?
Have you borrowed money or sold anything to get money to gamble?
Have you wondered whether you have a problem with gambling?

Has your gambling caused you any health problems , including feelings of stress or anxiety?
Have other people criticised your betting or told you that you had a gambling problem (regardless of whether or not you thought it was true)?
Has your gambling caused any financial problems for you or your household?
Have you ever felt guilty about the way you gamble or what happens when you gamble?

Its better to seek help before it becomes a problem in your life so
If you answered yes to any of these questions or you feel you need some help then cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is one option which is a form of talking therapy that can help you manage your problems by changing the way you think and behave. Its most commonly used to treat anxiety and depression but can be useful for other mental and physical health problems.

Another option is calling or joining a Gamblers Anonymous group where you can get free information, support and counselling.

Thanks for reading

And remember, Only bet or invest what you can afford to lose

Safe betting.