“It’s Not Worth It For Me” - Mental Barrier
One of the phrases that I dread the most and one of the ones I hear very often. Along my career I’ve had the opportunity to mentor and coach many people. Many of them have moved on, grown and become successful in their own way but many more have given up, and usually that giving up started with a mental trap I refer to as “it’s not worth it for me”
What is valuable is not easy to get It can be summed up with a very short phrase, but to some this may not be enough to understand. Why? It could be because they have seen people achieve a lot with little effort before, someone who won a lotto, inherited a business or something of the sort.
“A wise man plans for the rule, not for the exceptions” - @chbartist
It's a phrase that even I have to remember when thinking of the next steps to take, because as I’ve said before we must always plan for the worse outcome, but hope for the best. In any career path you may choose, regardless of country, culture or any other variable these are unquestionable truths.
Understanding that nothing valuable comes easy is also key when it comes to staying motivated walking towards the goals you want to achieve. Something that is too easy to do, something that anyone can do is by its nature not valuable.
That sounds a little negative but it's just an observation of a fact. If anyone could draw up house plans, there would be no need for architects and their salaries would not be justified, if anyone would understand and practice medicine, no one would be called a Doctor, I think this is pretty obvious to all of us.
The idea is that you have to think of your success, of your life plan in the same way some of these successful professional thought of theirs. What is the cost of pursuing your dream? What do you lack in order to achieve it?
It almost never is just about the money but we act as if it always is. Sometimes we have not been able to move forward because of certain attitudes we have, certain behaviors we practice every day but refuse to admit or even see.
I always tell my friends that “opportunities are everywhere, we just are not trained to see them” and that sounds very vague but its really an observable fact. You may even know of somebody in your home city that came into town without a penny in their pocket, they worked hard, seized opportunities and became a success story that inspired many others.
These success stories should not only inspire us, but also make us think. How did this person seize the opportunity? What does this person know that I don’t? What is the cost I have to pay for the opportunities I need?
I’m using the word cost again, and in this context its not the same as value. In the quest of becoming successful you are looking to add value to your life and to those around you, but you understand that there is a cost you must pay in order to do so.
When you think or say things like… “Well, it's not worth it for me”. You are stating you are not willing to pay the cost, sometimes this can be correct, but when it comes to pursuing the things you want in life, this can become an excuse and a mental barrier.
“I don’t need to learn another language” (it’s not worth it for me)
“I don’t have time to read” (it's not worth it for me)
“I have too much on my plate already” (it’s not worth it for me)
You get the idea...
You should really be honest with yourself on this subject if you are serious about moving forward. You should ask yourself if you are willing to pay the cost it will take to learn and to grow, and if you are are, do your best to never fall for that mental trap of “its not worth it for me” and you will start to notice the doors, the opportunities.
Success to you all
Follow - @chbartist
Beautiful .. Well done on tips
Great post from you
Thanks for sharing
Our our worst enemy sometimes is ourselves. We limit ourselves by playing games in our head. The examples you used is an illustration of cognitive dissonance where you want to do well but you talk yourself out of it. I agree there would be not everyone can be a doctor or architect and it doesn't come easy. Too many people are looking for short cuts in this world. You have to stick it out and have grit. Life is a grind and if you want to be successful you have to keep pushing forward.
Our worst enemy is always ourselves, (minimum 99% of the times)
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Great words @jfitmisc
Your insights are perfect for supporting a laissze-faire capitalist economy like the one we ARE SUPPOSED TO HAVE here in the USA.
Sadly, we are devolving to full-blown socialism for the masses, directed by an oligarchical elitist class that uses a planned economy, including Marxist trappings such as price fixing, subsidies, discriminatory taxation, etc. , to keep a good many otherwise qualified/inventive/hard-working individuals who are not associated with their social set from succeeding.
We no longer really value excellence as a society. In fact, our schools expressly squelch it by teaching to mainstreamed/mixed-IQ classes where excellence is actually punished. The work ethic that built our country no longer always lead to upward mobility. In fact, unless one is an outstanding inventor, writer, architect (i.e. creatively gifted) or a superstar athlete or musician, hard work rarely succeeds in a society where it has become a true truism that "the more you make, the less you work."
That is not to say I don't fully support a RETURN to the egalitarian free-market economy we were bequeathed by our forefathers. I completely do. However, we are going to need a major power shift (such as initiatives like Steemit, and cryptocurrencies portend) in order to achieve it.
Agree! Great words! @mepatriot. All the best!
Thank you @chbartist for a great post.
I determined many years ago to be willing to pay the price and to stay the course. This is in spite of obstacles, challenges, roadblocks, and pitfalls. Did they hurt? Yes. Was it always fun? No. But now I look back on having over 50 published book titles to my credit, not to mention scores of ghostwritten works for clients.
My saying from early on was: "I didn't get in to get out. I got in to stay."
Along the way I watched as many of my writer colleagues dropped out of sight. As you so aptly put it -- "it wasn't worth it for them."
That was their choice. I'm not here to judge. I only know that I can look back and be ever grateful that I did not quit.
And the best part? I feel like I'm just beginning! I have so much more in my heart that is yet to be written!
Now that, for me, is success at its finest!
Great @norma-jean. All the best!
primero que nada quiero felicitarte por compartir un post más de esos que valen la pena leer, siempre tus post me dejan un mensaje para reflexionar, considero por otro lado que las personas que no no hacen ni el mínimo esfuerzo para superarse en la vida es por que no quieren alcanzar el éxito con barreras en sus vida, pero el éxito siempre va acompañado de un saco de sacrificios, es entonces cuando decimos: "vale la pena seguir", vale la pena luchar, etc, al final de nuestros logros muchas veces decimos "valió la pena" ...Mis saludos, @chbartista.
Gracias @lauram - saludos
nice post. this is a reality that face many people but sometimes happens the opposite, and they think that everything worth it, so they see involved in toxic situations with other people that do not grow or learn, or just because the circuntance it is inconvenient at that time. then, i guess to give up or move on become the best option. at the end there's always another open door
Very insightful and inspiring post...
Totally agree with this:
"we must always plan for the worse outcome, but hope for the best." This makes us careful and not to regret too much when we fail...
Thanks for sharing, dear @chbartist ... ❤
You are welcome @zaimrofiqi
I get the idea but I do believe the main problem in this is: the way we are raised (also by society) and religion. Both want us to be humble, being satisfied with what we have, we are selfish (esp women are!) If we want something for ourselves. Nobody likes you if you turn out to have a strong will or set goals since if this is the case you point others on the fact they do not not have this "strong will" in it. They are without dreams. Also there are many moments in ones life you have to let go because of someone else and at a certain point you might figure out it is not important any longer since we all end up as a nobody, forgotten. Even the king? President and pope, even Soros and Mark Zuckerberg
Great Words @wakeupkitty
Thats great article . Yes you teach it right that wise man plan for rules not for exceptions. Well said that. Yes if we come out of the boundry "I cannot do it" Then therr are many new ways to welcome us. All we have to do is to get rid of the fear of being failed or rejected.
Thank You @tulhachouhdry
Always welcome
I appreciate that you pointed out the "cost" part. Many people seem to forget that part, and think that they can have everything they want without giving up something.
Great read @chbartist. Thanks for sharing this and looking forward to more of your posts.
Thank you @michelleast. All the best!