RE: Why Do We Listen To Sad Music When We Are Sad?
This is an interesting subject I've been thinking about lately. I think you did a great job of explaining it and you helped me put it more into perspective..
Sometimes I resonate to sad music when I'm sad and it usually makes me even more sad, but perhaps in that moment I'm not ready to feel happy, so.. Even though I could listen to more uplifting music.. It's not quite right at that moment in time. Though eventually I get to a point where I've had enough sadness and I don't wanna add to it anymore and then I'll switch to some more upbeat music.
It may be the desire to have someone love you back, or the desire to not feel lonely, or the desire to relive your childhood memories, or the desire to prove yourself to the world. Anything. We all know what it feels like when some of our strongest desires are left unfulfilled.
Well said.
This is exactly what makes sadness so beautiful. When shared, it reminds us of how we are not alone and how other people around the world have been through the same things that we have and are suffering just as much as we are.
I agree.
Another beautiful way in which sad music heals us is how it triggers the good memories that we had lived in the past. It reminds us of those amazing moments that we got to experience, even if we can never have them back again.
This part hit me pretty hard! There really is a lot more to it than I thought.. It is quite complex and like you said beautiful also. I think I'm going to look at sad music in a new way after this. Thanks for the very thought provoking and enlightening post. This was one of the more interesting threads I've read in a while.
I know right!? When you try to listen to uplifting music when you're sad just to make yourself feel better, it seems like you're lying to yourself. It feels like you're hiding from your pain instead of embracing it.
Yup. When you know you've had enough and are ready, it's completely fine to start getting "normal" again as long as you don't feel like you're faking yourself into listening to those upbeats.
I think I know why it hit you that hard. It's because of her, isn't it? I read that post last night and the first thing I could think of when I read the last part of this comment of yours was that it's surely because of the memory you have of her.
P.S. Sorry if I'm being a little too personal. Let me know if I am.
You should! Sadness is a really underrated emotion and it has so much to teach us. I know I'm kinda promoting myself here, but I really think you should check out this article of mine where I tried to explain the idea in much clarity and detail. It'd be interesting to know your thoughts on it!
Thank you :) I'm glad I could give you something to think about. See you next time!
Yup. Exactly.
Yes. It had to do with her, and the other women I fell in love with.. And just life in general with friends and family as well. But especially with Amanda as those were the strongest feelings I ever felt.
It's cool, no worries. It's not too personal and I'll certainly let you know if I ever feel like you're getting too personal or anything like that.
Great article. I'm glad you shared that with me and I highly agree.. Your thoughts on the subject helped me reflect more and find more peace with my sadness, sometimes I feel pressured or almost bullied by others to be happier, and I get it.. They don't wanna see me sad, and they wanna help.. Though I've been through a lot of pain and I need to go through it and express myself.
You're welcome. Thank you as well! I've been appreciating our exchanges, I seem to learn new stuff every time we talk! Seeya next time!
Thanks. I like to step carefully in situations like this because I don't want to accidentally end up hurting someone. Glad to know it's okay with you :)
Thanks again, and I can empathize with your words. It's such a difficult place to be in when your friends have good intentions and want to see you happy, but the pressure they put you in to be happy almost always makes things worse.
This is the part where emotional intelligence comes into play. People with high EQ know that it's not gonna make things better if you pressurize a person to be happy. It's often better to let them experience that pain and recover from it overtime.
There's no shortcut to long-term happiness.
Expressing yourself indeed makes it so much easier to deal with and I'm sorry you had to go through all that, but if you look at it from my perspective, the more sensitive a person is to bad feelings, the more they enjoy the good feelings. I really mean it. I wrote the following lines in one of my older articles which I think explains a lot of what I'm trying to say:
"People like these sure have more to lose, but they also have more to live for. They feel greater levels of compassion, intimacy, sense of purpose, attraction, fulfillment and pretty much every other thing that makes for a meaningful life."
Here is the link to the article if you'd like to read the whole thing.
It goes both ways, haha! You seem to teach me stuff every time you share your life stories and I often feel like I can relate with you on so many levels. Glad to know you like my wor
Word. I appreciate that.
Yeah.. I agree. As much as we want people to be happy, it's good to realize it can't be forced and that they'll likely be happier in the long run if they go through it.
Well said.. And thanks for the link, will check it out when I can. Either tonight or tomorrow probably. And yeah it seems like when you try to force your mental state you're repressing feelings and becoming more robotic for lack of a better word, I think if we're more fluid and honest and natural that that is more ideal and conducive. And I didn't have any studies to base that on until you shared that I just felt it intuitively and tend to listen to my intuition as it's rarely wrong. Sometimes it is, but rarely.
Cool. :D Glad we can help each other learn and have some great conversations while we're at it. :)
Yup. The moment you hold your feelings back and repress them, you are distancing yourself from yourself. The more you try to appeal to others, without first appealing to yourself, the less real you become as a person.
Indeed. It's amazing how similar people across the globe can be :)