This post was supposed to be the first. But I hurried. I immediately started with a story about my country, and after all, I must immediately introduce myself. I am correcting my mistake. I do not want to be an anonymous guide. I have nothing to hide, I do not need to hide, I will speak openly. Although I can seriously pay for my revelations. In my closed, authoritarian country everyone who speaks the truth will sooner or later be found and punished. But I'm tired of being afraid.

My name is Maria. I am 35 years old. I come from a small town, which is located near all the famous Chernobyl. It was Chernobyl that became my first test of strength from my earliest childhood. I was 5, when in 1986 the world's most famous environmental disaster occurred. The nuclear reactor exploded just 50 kilometers from our house. The authorities hid the problem, for a long time no one knew anything at all. And then people began to die in hundreds, especially children. Among my classmates, many did not live to 25, dying from various forms of cancer - the consequences of radiation sickness.

I survived. Radiation had a strong impact on my vision, I underwent several operations before my eyes and are now practically disabled, but I am holding on. I graduated from high school, then university, I got a specialty as a philologist teacher. Work on the diploma, I never found. My country is an agrarian. I should have thought about this before. Here, educated people are not needed, slaves are needed here - quiet, silent, with an intellect below the average. I did not want to be a quiet slave, so I often changed jobs. My bosses were afraid to hold me, as for my truthful statements about all had to answer and them, too. In the end, I generally began working at home on the Internet, but it also became a problem for me. In our country it is impossible not to work. Who does not work for the state, is equated with criminals. There is even a separate article on which an unemployed person, if he is calculated by the authorities, must pay a large tax to the treasury and still get a job.

I'm married, I have two sons - 15 and 5 years. My eldest son already now dreams of leaving somewhere. I teach him to be honest with himself, not to live by order of someone. I teach him that it is necessary to get a good education, become a sought-after specialist and, if possible, leave from here. I do not insist. But even the teenager sees that there is no prospect in this country. True, it is possible, like most of owr people, to obey the system and live quite happily. But is it possible for us? .. My children grow up smart and inquisitive. They want to develop in different areas, but I can not always help them in this. I hate myself when my youngest asks me to buy him a bicycle, and the elder asks for a guitar, but I can not give it to my beggarly salary. My husband recently lost his job. He is now outlawed. Work on the Internet, but this is a big risk.”They” can come any day to get him.

From my post, you can decide that I am deeply unhappy. This is not true. I'm alive, I have a family, have my own house, have a hobby - fishing, caring for my animals and flowers, photography. And most importantly - I have the opportunity to soberly assess the situation around and share my truth with people. I do not live in a fog. I do not want my relatives to live in it. Living in my country is becoming more difficult every year, but it only hardens me. I would like to hope that tomorrow will be better.