From Grief Management to Seeking Joy

What is your Motivation in life? What is your reason for getting up in the morning?

I struggle to admit that I've been 'away-from' motivated to a greater degree than 'towards-motivated'. That is, I'll take action and be creative when I need to avoid punishment... but less strongly motivated toward incentives.

The whip moved me more than the carrot.

Trauma Can Bring Clarity

As grief racked my heart and soul, the guided Hot Yoga class was the only thing that saved me. Over the year I counted the number of classes I attended and noticed that my most stressful times saw more than double the number of classes. The worse I felt, the more I sought out Yoga. But when the pressure was off and things were looking up, I attended fewer classes.

While I have acknowledged my motivations in the past, I had not deeply considered the roots of my beliefs, nor had I considered doing the work to change my beliefs.

Yoga started as a way to find temporary relief from heart-ache/grief/shame/anger. The worse I felt, the more I attended.

Fast forward almost 500 yoga classes later, along with an equal number of guided meditation sessions following the teachings of Dr Joe Dispenza... I'm starting to get a broader perspective of brain wave states and their effect on emotions.

And I realize now, it will take me another 1500 yoga classes to gain a level of mastery over my brain state.

I am in the process of overcoming my habitual maintenance of 'high-beta' brain wave state of stress. I realize that as my pains have subsided in the past, my motivation has taken a slide... as a result, my achievements have lacked the 'polish' required for outstanding performance.

With Yoga and practicing Dr Joe's ideas, I am calming my mind to an Alpha state a couple times each day, and as the effects accumulate I was starting to get glimpses of the light within me.

Guided Healing To Self Healing

For the most part, I am unable to calm my own mind by thought alone. Instead, right now. I need a guide. I need a guided yoga class.. and the classes with a yogi who directs every inhale and every exhale are better for me because it helps me to focus my mind. I need a guided meditation.

Knowing that I'm going to Yoga to practice a brain wave state makes a big difference in my results. I could attend class for the relief, and while I'm getting physically stronger and more flexible... if I leave the yoga class with the same arguments going on in my head, then I have not progressed in that class.

I am going to yoga to practice 'seeing the light within me'. I am practicing the feelings of my future... I am practicing feeling joy as much as practicing my poses. And if I leave the class without that emotional feeling and brain wave state... it's much the same as leaving the gym without lifting the weights!

The next stop in my practice, is to guide myself while I'm alone.