My 18 Year Old Self Asks, What Kind Of Life Is That?
When I was 18 graduating from High School and set to play D-1 soccer & study Religion at a nearby University, I would have laughed at you if you would have told me what I would be doing 14 years from now. What is that? I would have said. What kind of life is that?
I don't think I would have had any context then - or for the next few years, until I worked on an organic farm in Colorado and got a taste for fresh food that would be the driving force of my early path into Permaculture. Still, I think "what we are about" is out of context for most people in North America. My neighbor who grew up poor with a hole in the wall that snow would come in during winter in his childhood home couldn't understand why we would choose to live this way.
Hell, sometimes I even question why I've chosen to live this way. No one else I know from my early years lives this way, though I did start to meet many likeminded people as I journeyed. It is a lifestyle best geared for those who love the outdoors more than being inside- I can say that much succinctly. If given an option, I would do it all over again.
It's humorous to me because I often think about how our upbringings influence us and how our early experiences drive us toward this or that. My neighbor, for instance, has prioritized social security, a warm roof over his head, and now likes to fix up old classy cars. Did the snow that fell on him as a boy set him toward making sure that never happened to him again? I'd bet so.
The Planless Path
When I set off to play soccer and study religion in college, I didn't really have a plan. I think the majority of students enter college in this way- a rough idea about their interests, and suddenly they're pushed into choosing a life path, one that will not only hopefully engage their interests, but also put food on the table, a roof over their head and then some. It's a tall order in a culture that no longer can guarantee people with undergraduate degrees jobs out of College. It's a tall order in a culture wherein the youth can often get lost.
While I spent some time feeling lost, thankfully I do feel I was always at least in a roundabout way on my path. In fact, sometimes when I look back the things I studied, the choices I made, the places I visited or the people I learned from come together to form a miraculously woven tapestry of experiences which has come together to equip me to live this life.
This Guy is definitely a part of the tapestry.
Sometimes I call what I do Homesteading - that certainly isn't listed on Tax forms, where I usually put Farmer. While the earth-based lifestyle I live is still common in many parts of the world, it is out of context in this technologically advanced continent with dozens of brands of robotic vacuums. Ini and I were talking today about the early explorers, humans who travelled across the oceans to find places with different weather, plants and people groups with unique art & customs. We marveled at what it might have been like for someone from China to meet those indigenous to North America. We wondered at the similarities they likely found and also at what they were able to share with one another. Somehow we started talking about plastics and the fact that goods like nylon have only been developed in the past hundred years or so. Combining this with a factoid @eco-alex shared this morning about color television being less than 50 years old and we can see just how quickly our culture has evolved.
No Coincidences
We are really moving at a much faster speed than previous cultures and it makes me consider why I have chosen to come to earth in this specific place and time. I don't think it's any coincidence. While Elon Musk talks about colonizing Mars, Ini and I are patiently building soil at Mountain Jewel. For us there is no escape plan. We are firmly Placed and it is in this place that we have chosen to make our lives. While most "drop down forms" or my 18 year old self may not have a context for what we're doing, ours is an ancient way of life mingling with the present.
As evidenced by this article, we don't eschew technology; we aren't Luddites.
While we seek to minimize our footprint for sustainability's sake, we aren't hardcore purists. I believe we've come into this rampantly developing time to take part in & share a very earth-connected lifestyle in order to Remind others. We use the power of the interwebs to do this and Steem blockchain is a perfect example of how we are getting our message out to thousands of people who live around the world. While this lifestyle isn't for everyone, the earth is. Our connection with the earth matters. In fact, it's the foundation of literal matter and, as such, is the essential building block for any civilizations.
Instead of looking to the Elon Musks of this world to provide a vision for our future, one that takes us away from what we have, look to those who are humbly embracing what we already have. Development for development's sake leads us down a very familiar path as humans - in fact, we see that most civilizations have burned themselves out from resource exploitation. We do have a choice to continue down that road, or not.
When I was 18, though I thought hemp necklaces were cool and liked to ride my bike wherever possible, I didn't understand the realities of the Carrying Capacity of Planet Earth or even how my actions or voice could make an impact. I had to grow into that.
I think my 18 year old self would look at what I'm about as a sort of extended adventure, one that's fairly hardcore, definitely challenging and a little out-there. 32 year old me nods to that girl and my 18 year old self blushes. I'm glad I've found home.
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Great post! It is crazy to look back at our lives and see how much we have changed from those early adult years.
thanks! so crazy. so much has changed :)
Interesting post. I've read posts about advice you would give your 5 year old self. 18 years old is an interesting time. I was so stereotypically young male I had no worldview beyond football, girls, cars, and beer. I don't think my 18 year would have an opinion about where he thought I would be today. However, I think your 18 year old would be quite accepting of where you are :)
:) i think so too, if not a little confused (but mostly intrigued)- interesting about your 18 yr old lol- do you think he saw your future coming at all?
Probably not. He was living in the moment. Not in the at peace way its talked about today...just not thinking at all about the future, going with the flow, doing what was expected, not really making conscious decisions about living a purposeful life
You echo so many of my own thoughts here! This post is so balanced and real. North America is so caught up in the extreme, and there are plenty of those who will see the lifestyle you and Ini lead (and the one drew and I are trying to build) as extreme for today's time, but this post really shows the balance of mindset that is both present in this way of living, and needed here, in today's world. It's not extreme to have an open mind.
I never really wanted the white picket fence life, and I remember telling that to my family over dinner at 11 years old. But of course, I never considered that the world would need people who have the earth, and connection between people, and community, and a self sustaining mentality, as part of their priorities. I completely agree with your thoughts too about college... I went for a few years and had the same feeling, like I was just on a track, a one way track toward, well, not exactly my own passions or dreams (because I barely knew what they were) but that I was constantly picking through the options in the box, when really what my soul wanted and needed was to be creating the world outside of that box. I never really thought of it till I read this post. But I wonder, is there any coincidence as to whyyyy they call the highest form of the higher learning experience "doctoring"? Just a thought.
Thanks for the great post. Our ability as humans to reflect is where a lot of strength comes from, as it helps us see where we've been, our old thought patterns, our old ways of conditioning and programming, and how we can further seek to do something... Different... Rather than hopping on the same old train on the same old track.
Just some really nice insight here. Gratitude Wren 🙏 you guys do great work.
thank you for your wonderful and reflective response!
You put this so well... And I think it's an excellent summary of the gist I was getting at. In other times perhaps this wasn't as necessary, and we can see past generations weren't seeking to "balance" our culture in this way. In fact, most of my grandparents made it as far away from the farm as they could!! Each generation I think is given this task of balancing their time with right livelihood - for ours, I think the split so many of us (including you and Drew) are feeling is this split with the earth and the need to return using the skills we've gleaned in our modern culture with the resurgence of old yet timeless wisdom.
Again, thanks for your apt reflection-- I, too, can relate to much of what you said! The "white picket fence" dream never called me to either. I think that dissatisfaction so many of us feel is a secret gift leading us "outside of the box" as you say :D <3
This post is so lovely, it really echoed through me with such familiarity. I often think about all the pieces that needed to be woven together to help guide us.
It's funny as well, yesterday I dug out my old box of memories (to find that slightly terrifying real fur koala bear for @riverflows) and I fell into the contents reading my old essays, poems, letters and journals. It was interesting to reflect on the young girl (especially now that in am in my early 40's eeek!!)
I found myself thinking "if only I had known what I wanted sooner" because even ten years ago it seemed as though we had all the time in the word to figure out that thing that was calling to us.
but now, with deaths, with ageing parents, with a grown child, and days that pass far too quickly, I am being shown how truly precious our time here is. I am greedy and want as much time as I can grab onto because I have such a thirst to see, do and experience so much ...I know I could spend my life and know know every plant that grows on the land around me.
There are days where things are particularly challenging or frustrating where I wonder how much easier it would have been to just keep going with the flow, and living that simple, well paved life but that never sticks around for too long because we only have to open that front door to fall back into a mindset of awe and appreciation.
You said everything so beautifully in this post and this really is what it all comes down to for my husband and I.
thank you for this reflection which encourages me to see the value in my time just a little more. sometimes I feel like life is moving so fast and I can get caught up in it so easily, I let "moments pass me by" too much.
Yes yes yes.... this is truly magical, isn't it? How deep this lifestyle goes, and how far we can send our rootlets into the earth...
I agree, sometimes I wonder if another route might've been easier, but then something reminds me, exactly in the way you said, of the rich value of this life. I also know that I would likely be beset with a serious depression or other neurosis or addiction if I didn't choose a life that truly fulfills, enlivens and creates! It's kind of all or nothing for me-- since I'm here, why not go all in!! LOL The half lived life would've driven me raving mad!!!! XOXO
You are so LOVEABLE 💜❤🧡💛💚💙 What a joy it is to connect with you Wren. In such a rooted way. Am like you in that i aim to root down with Earth. I am not planning to go elsewhere either. Let's get it right on here before we go and eff up Mars next!! Beautiful inspiring blog post tonight! Especially as we celebrate Remembrance. ❤❤🍃❤
Aw you make my heart glow @yogajill! thank you for your kindness!! yes! agreed!!! <3
What a lovely reflection and wonderful that you can see your purpose here on earth.
I've always admired what you are doing there and what a wealth of knowledge you have gathered over the years plus your willingness to share it.
It's a beautiful life you are building there and wonderful that you are doing it now while you are young and strong.
Thank you for your kindness and encouragement @porters! It means a lot <3 !!!
Truly inspiring. I’m so glad 18 year old you allowed herself to evolve into 32 year old you.
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<3 thanks so much dear, me too :)
Interesting article, thanks for sharing, 18 year olds are a bit crazy, not sure I would like to know what my 18 year old self would think about me right now...
/FF
lol yeah! it's an interesting thought-stream, right? ;)
Yeah it's a bit crazy to think about these things , but I like it, very Introspective... ☀️
My 18 year old self would say 'kill me now' if he could see me. I really need to get back to the basics. Inspiring post!
Glad it could be inspiring. The best thing we can do is do our best and once we get a message like that, continue working to create the life we are proud of. We all have our off years and moments. I went through a 2 year depression on the way to where I am now and while it wasn't easy at the time, I learned so much about myself and what I value. Best wishes! <3
When I started University and was 18 I had full intention of medical school and then becoming a surgeon. What is funny, is my mother and my family always said,"Oh you'll be an artist". But, for me, I felt this drive to medicine, mainly because as child with my love of animals I was always reading about experiments and enjoying sciences. And of course, all the while, drawing and doing art.
I remember saying "My job will be science my art will be my hobby" and yet here we are and my art has been my job in many ways. I gave up science my sophomore year and went to Art History, still not willing to go completely to art school, as I felt the academia of the thing had more merit.
I think my Mother, Now gone some years, always knew I was designed for a more bohemian existence than a strict life in the sciences. It's funny that others can see in us our true hearts sometimes more than we ourselves can.
it's so interesting how things change and how those who know us best can sometimes predict those changes :) also how our upbringings "make us desire things" and ultimately, hopefully, we shake that off and become who we are and manifest our gifts in the world, as you have splendidly done!! the world is richer <3