Life with epilepsy: accepting the reality - day when everything has changed

It was one of those days that after I woke up, the first thing that I saw was rainy weather, cloudy and cold. I thought to myself this is a perfect day to write an article. I can remember that I wanted to make a coffee but first to wash my face. And then...everything goes black. After I've opened my eyes, I was lying on the floor, with my head in my husband's laps...I can remember his peaceful voice calming me down and saying everything is going to be okay. He told me that I was okay and that I should not freak out because something had happened, of course, I immediately asked what. Then he very carefully took the mirror in his hands and before he showed me he just told me, Tina you broke your teeth.
I just smiled because I thought he was joking, but then I looked in the mirror. I cannot describe the feelings that overwhelmed me at this moment. I broke my front teeth. 4 of them. I didn't cry, I was just in shock. Really? That was necessary? It's not enough? When will this end?

My head, my teeth, my face, my body, everything was hurting. I bite my tongue in so many places that I couldn't drink.
I saw a trash can in a bathroom and it was broken. BROKEN! After he found me, I was already in seizure and without teeth, so he doesn't know if I fell and broke my teeth or I squeezed them so hard they just flew away. The seizure was 2 minutes long and a really bad one.

So, what to do when you wake up and you're without teeth? You need to take a picture. :) I looked like a funny lady without the denture.

And then reality hit me. I need to repair this. I can't look like this, I'm starting a job in 3 weeks. At this moment my husband just said please lay down, sleep a little and then we will talk, what are we going to do.

I woke up with a terrible headache and with the hope that I dreamed it all. But no, I was without teeth.
He already looked up for the best dentist here in Graz, but then we saw the price of how much are the cost of repairing teeth. And I need to repair 4 of them 🤦‍♀️
My friends that are also living in Austria came to visit me, for the support, she said 😉 She started to cry when she saw me, so I needed to calm her down :)) We came to the conclusion that I need around 4 thousand euros for repairing my teeth. Repair of the two front teeth should supposedly be free of charge but what about the other two?

I can't describe this feeling when I look myself in the mirror and I see that. It is not sad, it is just crazy.

So, what more can happen? Yes, I understand, I'm a strong person and I can overcome that but it was already hard enough to live without hair, I need to be without teeth too?

So how do you deal with the emotions and with the truth that I will be toothless for a while? And that the money we raised was for a new home not for my teeth?

The key to maintaining our own health is recognizing and timely elimination of negative emotions such as anger, resentment, fear, and sorrow. The problem is that when we suppress a negative emotion, we create an energy blockage or imbalance in the flow of energy in the body, and this is suppressing our immune system. If the emotion becomes chronic and we don't correct it in a timely manner, it will also have consequences on our physical body and I have to think of another illness as well because it comes out when I'm angry, sad or too stressed. So this must be accepted peacefully. But who accepts this peacefully and how?

For spiritual beings - beings with developed awareness is love one of the most important emotion we need for spiritual development and life. From a spiritual point of view, all good, positive things come from love. And just as all good comes from love, all bad, negative, comes from fear. Whatever we do in life, each of our choices is driven by fear or love, which is often completely contrary to logic and reason. Fear and love, are two basic emotions, among which there is a wide range of emotions, which are really just shades of one or the other. Worry, anger, panic, depression, guilt are different faces of fear. It is common for everyone to feel that something is threatening us, so we feel insecure.
As a result, love keeps us in a state of inner peace and fear in insecurity. Think about how it feels when everything in your world is great, you are calm and in harmony with your surroundings ... With fear in ourselves, we quickly fall into negative thoughts, we are angry, irritable, lonely, impatient - and our bad personality is coming out.

It is harmful to maintain negative emotions in ourselves for a long time and allow a negative emotional-behavioral pattern to be created. Such patterns deplete us and literally push us into illnesses, both physical and mental, and I understand all this, but still, it's hard to accept and understand all these emotions.
That's why I'm writing this. I need to express my feelings. My anger, my fear, my sadness because I'm feeling really insecure now. I didn't count that I can lose my teeth. So, realty hit me again. Directly in the face. :) I'm not 100 percent sure, what else can epilepsy takes from me, but give it time.

I will show you my picture, but please, without any sad comments, only positivity :)

(These are the only pieces I found, other pieces are probably under the washing machine.)

So, my new goal? Raising money for my new teeth.

Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

p.s. I can't tell you how lucky I am to be surrounded by people that I love so much. My husband, my family, and friends are always present with positive words and this incredible support they are giving me. Thank you and I love you all :*

Thanks guys for reading, and till the next time 🤘😎

With love, @tinabrezpike ❤