RE: Mizu no Oto contest # 10 - Haiku, Image [ENG/ITA]
I will leave this small note here, as in my idea a haiku has to be left free to float and resound in the reader's mind without any indication or conditioning. This notwithstanding, since this is a contest, here's a technical point.
Like others - and I found it interesting! - I could have drafted an original version, plus a literal translation, plus a free version in the second language. Unavoidably, when it's about languages, the container modifies the content.
I skipped the literal translation because, again, I don't want to create a "busy" feeling in the reader. My choice is due to the research of a sense of inner peace, which I want to share. That's also the reason of master Kobayashi Issa's verses, which you can find at the bottom of all my poems. So we have two slightly different haiku here, with the same spirit.
With my most sincere heart and purest intent, I hope you will enjoy this small poem.
It's almost inevitable, and even I prefer when I can, do two different haiku when using two different languages. I'm happy to be able to appreciate them both, even if I am amazed at the fact that often I prefer yours in English rather than in Italian. Perhaps because the simpler vocabulary is closer to my idea of haiku
Yes, that's why here the English one comes first.. When I start writing, I can't tell which language will prevail. When I write I draw a vertical line and develop the two together. Thanks for your opinion.. It means a lot in my little inner debates.