I sense something, a presence I've not felt since...

Greetings loyal followers.

I have sensed a disturbance in the force.

This is what I look like when I sense something. It may seem silly to look around when you are sensing something magical that cannot be seen... but you are not a Sith Lord so you don't understand. So shut up!

I sense something, a presence I've not felt since...

Ever! Because thanks to my old "friend" and teacher, I never met my son... in some timelines.

The presence I have felt is none other than @luke-skywalker himself. You can find his first transmission here.

That is him in the middle saying "But I was going into blah blah to pick up blah blah."
SHUT UP!

Because I believe he will continue to contact me (who wouldn't) I have an essential explanation for him.

Thanks to this planet's primitive technology, it is impossible to communicate in a linear timeline. Although Dennis, the Empire's IT guy, has been able to establish direct contact within each transmission, he has been unable to overcome all of the challenges of communicating from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Most of the blame for this problem rests with this primitive planet... but to be perfectly honest, I am surprised Dennis doesn't electrocute himself every time he tries to "fix" something.

So @luke-skywalker please keep this in mind. Some of our communications will be before this watershed moment in our relationship...

Whaaaa. That's kim possible! Whaaaa.

Others will be after it.

As such, sometimes I will know about our relationship... other times I will not. I know it may be too confusing for your puny little mind to comprehend... but too bad! Suck it up! Stop being such a baby about things.

You are whining about this already aren't you?

I think I can actually hear your obnoxious, petulant, insanely unpleasant tone right now through my terminal.

"Whaaa! My daddy cut off my hand!"
Stop being such a wuss! Tape an aspirin to it and get back in the game!

Would you please shut up! You are 23 freaking years old (in this timeline). Do you know what I was doing when I was 23? Well it certainly wasn't whining like a little b...

rat.

Dennis! It's doing it again! It cut out right in the middle of one of my tirades! You know how much I love my tirades. Get your ass...

istant in here to fix it immediately!

Where was I? Oh yes. When I was 23... let's see. When I was 23 it was a very good year...

• I had completed my Jedi training and had become the most powerful being ever in existence
• I secretly married a super hot queen
• We did what was needed to be done to create twins
• I slaughtered an entire village of disgusting Sand People
• I slaughtered a room full of innocent younglings
• I cut off both hands of the guy whose job I wanted
• Yada, yada, yada, I got betrayed by my best friend, killed my wife, burned in a volcano, became Frankenstein, and started my miserable job working for that idiotic and puke-inducing Emperor
• Whined about crap all the freaking time

Do you see what is not on the list? "Whined about crap all the freaking time". Do you know why? Because I'm not a whiny little bit...

ter mama's boy. I know you never had a mother. Boo freaking hoo! Grow a pair! I never had a father and I turned out perfectly fine. I have no issues whatsoever. I am the model of social and emotional health. So please, do the universe a favor, and just shut the hell up!

After choking the first two quacks who claimed I had "borderline personality disorder" this guy said I am the picture of psychological health.

That being said, in the future (or past) if you plan on communicating with me, please keep this information about non-linear timelines in mind.

By the way, if any of you were wondering about the whereabouts of my executive assistant Vera, who is simply the Kipper's Knickers, that is none of your freaking business!

What was that?
Whining
Kim possible
Need a hand?
Picture of mental health