Parsley is the Victim of a Terrible Conspiracy. The Vegetable Elites are Corrupt. Includes Recipe for Quinoa Tabbouleh.
Major media outlets are not reporting on this. They won’t because they’re deep in the pockets of powerful interest groups. You heard it here first: The vegetable world is corrupt. It’s dominated by a few elites, including carrots, lettuce, broccoli, spinach, and tomatoes. A handful of wealthy families control everything and set the agenda for many peoples’ dinner plates.
Want proof? Broccoli, kale, cauliflower, cabbage, collard greens, and brussels sprouts are all owned by the same powerful vegetable family. That’s right; they’re all brassicas. In fact, some are even the same species. How is that for corruption and nepotism? No wonder they control so much real estate in the produce sections of supermarkets, grocery stores, and markets.
Broccoli, cabbage and cauliflower sell more? Of course they do. They own like half the freaking market space. Source: Still image from https: //youtu.be/0g_SER121Dc (space added to address to prevent embedding).
Not only does this limit consumers’ choices, but it undermines would-be vegetable contenders like parsley. Sure, they call it an herb. But “herb” is such a demeaning label. Calling parsley an “herb” is their way of marginalizing this vegetable’s immense talents and contributions. If you’ve ever had tabbouleh, scrambled eggs with parsley, parsley pesto, or parsley tacos, you know that it’s far more than an herb.
Public Domain via Pixabay.
What is an herb, anyway? It’s something you sprinkle in smaller quantities. An herb has an intense flavor that adds its strong character to a dish, such as oregano, rosemary, or dill. An herb is not something mild to chop in great quantity. Parsley fits that description, either raw or cooked, and a mere sprinkle of it adds nothing. Like so many other vegetable victims (salsify, fiddleheads, and cardoon; I'm looking at you!), parsley’s full potential has never been unleashed.
How would you like to be dried up, irradiated, and put in a small spice shaker?
Source: It's a dollar bill, y'all!.
I won’t swallow that herbal kool-aid. Parsley is a vegetable, not an herb, and only a conspiracy has held it down. Powerful interests have prevented it from taking its rightful place in the veggie world. Let no one tell you otherwise.
With that in mind, here is a modern, healthy twist on a classic Mediterranean-Middle Eastern favorite that features lots of parsley.
Quinoa tabbouleh with the lettuce option. Creative Commons via Flickr by Lablascovegmenu.
Quinoa Tabbouleh (Recipe)
Ingredients
1 cup quinoa
2 cups water
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup parsley, chopped (flat leaf variety is best)
1 cup tomatoes, chopped
1/2 cup Lebanese or English cucumber, chopped
1/4 cup mint, chopped
1/4 cup chives, diced (may substitute 2 scallions)
1/2 cup olive oil
2 tablespoons lemon juice, freshly squeezed
1 small garlic clove, crushed
1/4 teaspoon black pepper, freshly ground
Additional lemon juice, salt and black pepper, to taste
Variation: Substitute shredded lettuce and carrots for tomatoes and cucumbers
Stronger flavored option: 1/4 teaspoon each of spices: allspice, cinnamon, coriander, fenugreek, nutmeg, and powdered ginger (for something a little less spicy, use only the first few of these)
Optional: 1/4 cup feta cheese, crumbled
Directions
This recipe substitutes quinoa for the bulgur wheat. Authentic Middle Eastern tabbouleh uses even less grain with more parsley and mint, so you can vary proportions as you wish, using more or less lemon juice, salt, and black pepper to taste.
First, cook the quinoa in 2 cups of salted, boiling water. Cook uncovered and stir for 12-15 minutes until water is gone, stirring it as needed. Quinoa should be cooked and fluffy.
Second, mix lemon juice, olive oil, and crushed garlic in a bowl.
Chop vegetables and herbs. Using a bowl, mix them into the quinoa, covering with the lemon dressing and stirring.
Add additional salt, pepper, and spices to taste.
Cover the bowl and chill tabbouleh in the refrigerator. This dish can be eaten cold. It’s delicious with romaine lettuce, which you can use as a wrap. It also goes well with pita bread, hummus, falafel, and other Mediterranean and Middle Eastern dishes.
Then say it with me three times: “Parsley is a vegetable!”
Thumbnail image: Public Domain, Pixabay. Bottom image: Quinoa tabblouleh. Createive commons via Flickr by Mack Male.
I need my Shia lebouf standing ovation gif... but too hard to get to on my phone. I applaud any post that properly uses the word "freaking" anywhere in it. But seriously thank you for shining a light on this very crucial issue. I knew there was some sort of illuminati conspiracy going on. My cat has been warning me of it for years! Thank you for shining a light on this. We can't fight the vegetable conspiracy unless we inform the masses. You have provided a valuable public service. Thank you.
Home now. This is what you deserve.
Parsley is pretty great, I do love it, which is why it's growing in a pot on my patio.
OMG, he's growing pot!
;) it's legal in Massachusetts.
hahahaha that was funny to read :D Thanks @donkeypong! You are making me going to sleep with a smile in my mouth :)
Edit: Will try the recipe tomorrow... looks tasty
Glad to hear that. Let me know how it turns out!
I have a pot of fresh Parsley in my kitchen window and I add it to all of my sauces, and chilies, just snip a piece off and chop it up. The best part is after you cut off a sprig, a new one just grows right back. I have had the same small pot for 3 years. Thanks for sharing
Thanks for telling us about growing it. I definitely need to grow some more.
Scary stuff... I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts on the anti-cilantro conspiracy. It is just a theory, after all, but it does seem to have some weight given that its legitimacy as a basil substitute for pesto has been repressed into secrecy.
We may have to alert some underground groups and investigate further. Sounds fishy.
LMAOOOO omg this was so refreshingly funny and fun to read. I agree too, you should do one on Barley it is the Parsley of the Grain World. Rice and Wheat get all the praise, mean while we been eating Barley since the beginning of time as farmers and possibly wild Barley before then. I love Parsley and use it daily, it grows so easily here in Florida like a weed with out any effort.
If you do a barley post, I'll upvote it. :)
I will lol, I have tons of great Barley Recipes on my Youtube Channel too. I love that stuff. It is so underrated.
Hilarious! Thanks for the chuckle and tomorrow's lunch.
Parsley is indeed a good and healthy vegitable even better than most popular vegitables we buy daily and it is not expensive. It is however, better to have combinations of good vegitable in our menu daily. Thanks for sharing this good tips, keep it up
True. Balanced diets are important.
I agree, you are welcome.
Guys, we all know parsley is green paper. Let's get real.
Remind me to buy stock in an Origami company.
Actually Parsley is an alien life form that was discovered on the moon.
The whole moon hoax conspiracy was created purely to act as a cover for the actual truth that Neil Armstrong brought it back with him!
Have you ever seen any references to Parsley before 1969 - well they are all fake because it didn't exist on this planet before then.
It may be delicious but it is part of a secret plot by the Moon people to take over the Earth!
Is the moon hollow? Neil Armstrong might have missed those hydroponic gardens. No wonder it's green.
It is definitely hollow because I read it on the internet! Also Armstrong was one of the Moon people. He isn't really dead - he just returned to the Moon in a flying saucer.
Wait, but I read that the moon is cheese!? Back to the internet....
It is - in fact it is the secret source of all the Emmental cheese in the world.
Now that you mention it, these astronauts look kind of hollow too.
![post](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://s17.postimg.org/gsu2d6ein/hollow.jpg)
Yes Moon people worship hollow objects.