What I'm planning to do now that I'm dead

Well, I’m dead now. 😐

In case you didn't have time to read the blog I didn’t write yesterday, I got a really bad case of the flu.

And last night, just as I expected, the flu killed me as I was curled up in my little corner, waiting patiently for it to come along and rip the last little bit of life out of me with one final backbreaking lungcrushing round of coughing that hopefully wouldn't disturb the neighbors too much.

I honestly didn't think it would kill me by making me choke to death on my own sputum.

But hey, who am I to tell the flu how to kill me?

It didn't hurt that much, actually. And now that I’m looking back on my death by flu experience, I’d definitely recommend it to anyone looking for a relatively painless exit.

Sure, there are probably faster and less disgustingly phlegm-themed ways to go, but when it comes to accessibility, affordability, and not having your body parts scattered across the interstate or trashing up the scenery at the base of some cliff in the wilderness, the flu is really the way to go.

Especially during winter when it's so easy to get your hands on a really good killer flu.

_{Don't delay! There's still plenty of winter left!}

Anyway, I digress.

The point is that I’m dead.

And now it's high time I got out there and started doing exactly what I’ve always wanted to do after I died:

I’m gonna go haunt the ever living fuck out of some mountains.

There you go.

You see all those mountains up there? South Sawatch Range. I'm surveying my new hauntdom from the top of Antero, looking out at Tabeguache and Shavano and a bunch of other peaks whose names don't matter.

And I’m planning to just absolutely haunt the boogie-woogie dancing bejeezus out of these guys.

Good luck ever climbing any of these mountains again, everyone in Colorado and the whole world, because you get within 20 yards of any of these summits and I’ll haunt your ass all the way back down to whatever miserable trailhead you parked your miserable two-thousand-and-something Subaru at.

More mountains you'll never be able to climb,

because me and my deadness are totally haunting these ones, too.

You're looking at Iowa and Emerald from the top of Missouri Mountain.

You're also looking at an insanely sexy view that you'll never be able to enjoy for yourself now that I'm haunting the shit out of all these mountains out here in these parts.

Buckskin. Democrat. Lincoln, Cameron, Bross.

I think you're getting the picture.

All of them HAUNTED.

You can't come up here, either.

I don’t remember where this is, but it's mine and I'm haunting it.

So stay the hell away unless you like the thought of Dead Brandt getting all haunty up in your face,

because that's exactly what'll happen.

_{Thanks for your cooperation!}

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Hello from the high Rockies of Colorado. My name is Brandt, pleased to meet you. I’m a marketing copywriter. I live in a little ghost town called Leadville. If you like mountains, snow, jokes, running, hiking, breathing, not working, etc., then you and I have a lot in common. Thanks for stopping by, and have a lovely day!