Success In Fitness - Nobody Can Want It For You

I love my job. I love its challenges and I love helping people. But sometimes, try as I might, I'm not able to because they're just not ready.

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink. Have you ever heard this phrase? I think of it often (and have probably mentioned it in earlier posts) and man, does it ever apply to the health and fitness world.

As badly as I might want a client to succeed, there’s only so much I can do to make that happen for them - I can design the very best plan that I know will be effective, create as much accountability as possible, and work with them to try to anticipate hurdles and get over them smoothly should challenges present themselves. I can help them find ways to make the lifestyle changes I'm requesting easier, work through emotional or personality-related road blocks, encourage and lift them up when times get tough. I can believe in them and treat them with kindness, respect, and love. And I try my best to do that for every person I work with.

The one thing I can’t do is decide for them that they’re ready to do what it takes to reach their goals.

We are all our own people, and with that comes free will - we have to be WILLING to commit to the changes we need to make in order to achieve the success we want in our lives.

As a fitness and nutrition coach, this is without a doubt one of the most difficult parts of my job.

I’ve had multiple clients reach out to me saying they’re fed up with the way their health has deteriorated, they're dissatisfied or even embarrassed when they look in the mirror, or they are frustrated with how incapable of enjoying life’s activities they’ve become due to lack of fitness.

They tell me they’re ready to do everything I suggest, and that they promise they’ll give it 100% until they reach their goals. However, when they find out what needs to be done to get to where they want to be, sometimes that desire has a tendency to wane.

The thing is, you don’t usually have to reinvent the fitness wheel or perform some sort of nutrition magic when helping people to turn their health and fitness around. Most people have gotten to where they are because of a lot of the same factors and behaviors, and a lot of the fixes are pretty predictable and similar.

The changes necessary for most people to see results are usually pretty simple, often don’t even have to be super drastic, and they can have them seeing consistent, noticeable progress without killing themselves over it - that is, IF they are compliant. And that’s a big IF. A lot of times clients already know what they SHOULD be doing, it’s really a question of whether or not they’re willing do it.

It’s natural to want instant gratification - we get it all the time nowadays. We don’t have to work very hard anymore for a lot of things in life, thanks to technology, innovation, and new knowledge. In many ways, this is awesome! However, I think that unfortunately this leads many people to believe that you CAN have abs in just 6 minutes a day like it says on TV, or that the ripped girl on a poster selling blenders got that way just by drinking smoothies all the time… While it may not have to be rocket science, it’s a little more involved than that.

If it were that easy to look like a fitness model, would everyone look that way all the time?

The thing people don’t want to hear is that in order to SEE changes, we must MAKE changes, and sometimes that stings - it often involves “giving up” things that have become cherished, routine, or taken for granted.

There are a handful of undisputed truths in health and fitness. For instance, you can’t consume well over the amount of calories your body uses each day for a prolonged period of time and expect to lose weight. Over-consuming alcohol is not a healthy habit, nor does it promote a fit physique. Going through the motions without constantly striving for improvement in the gym will not produce the most impressive (or fast) results.

These are just a few examples, and they seem pretty easy to grasp intellectually - however, they may not be as easy to implement, and thus present stumbling blocks for many people because human beings, by nature, desire to avoid discomfort. It’s natural to feel that way, but we have to WANT to push through the rough spots in order to actually get through them, and we have to WANT to succeed more than we want to indulge our discomfort-averse selves and slip back into that warm, fuzzy, safe zone.

In short, it’s not always possible to have your cake and eat it too (literally and figuratively) while still making progress when it comes to fitness. But nobody likes hearing that, and not everyone is ready acknowledge those things and still move forward. Even those that think they're ready.

I try to be unwaveringly kind to my clients, speak from a place of love, always teach, never judge, be as understanding as possible, collaborate with them to create strategies to ensure they stay on track, and help make each person’s journey as smooth as I can. It’s my goal to explain (gently, of course) how certain lifestyle choices that have been made so far are the ones creating the discomfort they’re experiencing, whether it’s physical or emotional or both, and that I’m here to assist them in every way I know how to make new habits and patterns that will give them the results they seek.

Nobody likes to “suffer,” but I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again - not much that’s worth having is gotten by being comfortable. Stepping outside of your comfort zone, embracing challenges, and adopting an attitude of enthusiastic willingness and perseverance are all important parts of chasing goals and actually ACHIEVING THEM.

Health and fitness are no different - if you’re to the point where you're asking for help reaching goals, obviously the routine you have today isn’t getting you there and so some things will have to pivot. What has become a very comfortable lifestyle will have to change, and change can be scary and sometimes tough. But nobody can want it for you - you have to really, truly want it for yourself.

The thing is, if you want something badly enough, you’ll do whatever needs to be done in order to get it. You might not always know how, and you may need to reach out for help and guidance (there's no shame in that - I'm a huge advocate of this practice!), but once you figure out the right path chances are you’ll walk the straight and narrow no matter what in order to get to your goal. I won’t pretend there won’t be bumps in the road because there may be a few, and that's more than ok, but if you really want something more than you want anything else (and that’s the kicker) you’ll stop at nothing to get it.

Every person has to be in charge of ordering their own priorities. There’s no judgment here, because different things are important to different people. I feel like I am letting my clients down if I exhaust my personal skills and knowledge and can’t get them the results that they want, but sometimes I can’t figure out a way to motivate a person who, at the end of the day, just doesn’t want it badly enough. Many people lose sight of the wonderful things they'll eventually gain and get caught up in what they feel like they're losing, or giving up, in the current moment. It's important to play the long game if you're looking to make your life healthier!

Sometimes it’s said that addicts need to hit rock bottom before seeking treatment, but I think often this is true of fitness as well - each person has to get to their own personal “breaking point” where they’ve truly had enough and are willing to do whatever it takes to reverse the situation and start caring for their body and health again.

People are complex creatures, and I’m no psychologist - just a well-meaning gal who wants to help people. But I can be confident in my approach and knowledge, do everything in my power for a client, and truly WANT to help until I’m blue in the face, and still not be able to get them to see the results I know are possible if they’re not willing to take the necessary steps.

If you ever find yourself in a predicament similar to what I’ve described, my best advice is to find your WHY. Remind yourself why improving your health is so important to you, and reflect on that often. Believe that when you reach the end result that you desire, it will provide SO much more comfort and satisfaction than what makes you feel temporarily comfortable and satisfied now. Remember that progress is created out of choices and action, and only you can be in command of your own.

What I want to reinforce for you is that YOU CAN DO ANYTHING you want to, if you put your mind to it! I know it, and I hope that deep down you know it too. It’s one of my greatest joys in life to help people make possible their dearest, most personal dreams of becoming the healthy human, inside and out, that they know (and I know) they can be.

So welcome the hard parts, jump in head first, and never say die - I promise you will come out on the other side stronger, leaner, fitter, healthier, and happier all around!

Need some help? We ALL do sometimes! Reach out to me if there’s anything I can do to help YOU :)

Please feel free to comment, upvote, or resteem if you found this helpful :)