Parent-teacher relationships - The good, the bad and the ugly
My children goes to a very well-known International private school. This school is brilliant at academics, have a strict code of conduct and has mostly young and energetic Irish teachers. They organize events such as 'fun days', 'music concerts', 'sports days' and 'International days' occasionally, which the children find very exciting and are usually very eager to attend. I can tell you about all the very cool and great things but that would take away from my story, so back to it...
One thing that this school does NOT ALLOW, is communication between parent and teacher. None. Teachers are not allowed to be friends with parents of the school either. The only time when parents and teachers see each other is on the first day of school when you take your child to his/her new classroom and you may only drop your child off and go. I am then usually very curious to who she is and where she's from and would ask my children the names of their teachers so that I can investigate LIKE ONLY A MOTHER CAN.
I want to know who they are, where they're from and what kinds of pictures they have on social media. I got them all! My son's KG 1 teacher (2014) turned out to be all boobs and no brains at the end, like her Facebook profile suggested.
Now don't get me wrong...I am not one of those mothers who would annoy teachers with lots of questions and accusations, but I do feel that there needs to be some kind of communication between a teacher and a parent. I know that the reason for this rule is probably to keep teachers from having favorites, but also to protect teachers from angry parents, but really??? No communication at all?
So what they do is, when you have a question, a complaint or an enquiry of some kind, you have to make an appointment with the supervisor. The supervisor will then get reports from all the teachers about the child(ren) and is then able to assist you...or so they think! In 4 years, we've been to such an appointment only twice and on both occasions I have been able to corner them with questions they were unable to answer, on purpose, because it was things that only a teacher would be able to answer. They would then have to scurry and phone around to try to get me an answer.
One of the other things that this school DOES NOT allow, is for a child to give a gift to the teacher on the last day of school (or any other day, mind you), whether it's a card, a pen, a chocolate, a letter, flowers. Not allowed. My 5 year old daughter was heartbroken because she wanted to give a 'thank you' card to her KG2 teacher on the last day of school, which she made herself, and the teacher could not accept it. Is that even human? I know it's not her fault and rules are rules, but it's not money, diamond earrings or drugs. It's a creation from the heart of a 5 year old. I explained to her that the teacher's boss is a grumpy old man and that the teachers are not allowed to accept any gifts and told her that I would send it to the teacher in the mail :/
One day she will understand.
But the fact is, there are just those things that teachers should and should not be able to do. How can a parent put his/her trust in someone they have no contact with. Obviously, there should be limits, but it's not normal to have no contact at all. E-mail communication, at least, is not too much to ask for, is it?
Was Bob Beauprez talking nonsense when he said this?:
I would like to hear more views about this from fellow teachers.
Excellent :)
Thanks @jonathanxvi
enjoy reading
nice posts dear... for me i think its better parents have some sort of knowledge about the kids teachers and to have some srof relationships which helps better to understand how the kid is fairing in school... but most parents these days spoil their kids soo much and usually go intimidating teachers on deserving bad grades their wards come home with as such putting fear in teachers.. maybe thats why the separation... i trust the authorieties had got to deal with lots of issues before the resolve to seperate teachers from parents...
you a great mum...thanks for sharing this good post..upvoted as always
Thank you for your support @kenhudoy, as always. Yes, I also think they must have their reasons for all of this, but to some, it's just not fair.
i feel you... a worthy mum and a good observer...tks for sharing this
This would not have gone down well with me. I always related to and connected with teachers. Fortunately mine are all adults now. Good that we have a team from SA so that we can support one another. Have upvoted and followed you
If only there were another choice, but we'll just have to see this through.
Thank you @pandamama. I'll do the same ;)
Kids don't stop learning when they change environments from home to school. Teachers and parents should be working together to teach children as they grow. A child wanting to show gratitude and give a gift to show that is a good thing and should be encouraged, in my opinion. It's sad that teachers have to follow all these restricting policies now for fear of losing their job. The only person these rules hurt in the long run is the children because they will be taught two different things by two different people and won't actually know which way is the right way.
You've done your homework.
It's true @stephen.king989 and I wish they would communicate more. The kids are luckily very happy there and there has never been any big problems...yet.
I'm speechless.
Since graduating I have worked at three schools. At my first school (public school) we had a strict policy of not giving out our or our colleagues numbers (We could get a disciplinary hearing if we did that). We had teacher-parent meetings at the beginning of each term so that the parents can know who their child's teacher is. If necessary we wrote letters in the children's' homework books or the secretary called them.
At my second school (private school) our numbers were freely given out by our fellow colleagues, secretary and principal. We were phoned any time of day or night. The parents were very fond off phoning and shouting and screaming of why there children didn't do there work like this or why they didn't get a sticker (I taught grade 1 at this school) or why I am learning them sounds and not sight words. This honestly was draining me off all the motivation I had for being a teacher. My husband was phoned at the most ridiculous times of the day so he can go see why "Peter" can't find his socks. He was the hostel superintendent. After three years this was one of the many reasons why we left this school.
At my current school the parents have access to our numbers. We are I think only six teachers who doesn't live on the premises . Out of the 360 learners only 40 learners are not in the hostel. The parents have strict channels they have to follow when wanting to contact us. We are free to report them if they phone outside the allocated time to contact the teachers. This allows us to have family time without being interrupted by parents. And this might just be one of the reasons why we will stay at this school for a few years.
#steemiteducation
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I enjoyed reading this - it is really strange the no contact and presents rule - great post
Thanks for your continued support @anneke
Only a pleasure
This post has received a 0.78 % upvote from @drotto thanks to: @banjo.
Great post. Looking forward to open house and meeting parents in next week.
Lovely! Enjoy and lots of luck for the new term!