Well, I think that a healthy relationship is when the partners are equal in every way. When they can be themselves. They don't have to always agree, but they do have to come to some sort of understanding. In my life, I've seen a few of these kinds of relationships. Two of my friends have it. Then I also have friends who are not 100% happy in their relationship all the time, but who stay with the other because it works 80% of the time. I think I would have given up by then.
The thing is, all my relationships started out like that. I think I have a problem seeing the narcissist in them. Maybe that's what narcissists do. Because my three major relationships in my life, they were all three narcissists. One even psycho on top of that (bad, bad combi). Turns out, there are different kinds of narcissists, and all three were different. If they weren't, I would have been able to scope them out beforehand.

As for the second one (the narcissist psycho), NO ONE, even his best friends ever expected the games he would play. His two best friends knew him since they were kids, and they were as surprised as I was. So I don't really blame myself for anything, because if they didn't know, then how could I have predicted how vicious he really was.

I think it's how we learn. And the thing is too, we're both now at a point where we don't want or need a relationship. I think that if or when we do meet someone down the line, this lack of co-dependency or the need for someone will also be known and felt by the other. I don't know, I have this theory that we've attracted these idiots, because somehow we vibrated some sort of 'need' and with those kinds of vibrations, it's really the only thing we can attract.