Smashing the Stigma of Depression
I have seen a lot of articles on mass media news outlets lately depicting mental health and how to help those that are struggling with mental health challenges but most of what I have read must have been written by people that have never experienced depression before.
These articles are a start to breaking the silence about depression, anxiety, PTSD, bipolar, and so many other mental health challenges that so many of us are struggling with in silence but if you put out false information then are you really helping at all?
Talking about mental health makes it “normal” instead of looking at us like we’re different or weird. Honestly, I’ll never forget the way it felt to tell my father about my depression and have him tell me that it “was all in my head” and “you should pray on it.”
He was right in a way, it is all in my head but it’s a part of who I am and part of what makes me unique. I have a different way of looking at the world now but that’s not necessarily a bad thing and I shouldn’t be ostracized for it.
My Superhero List
Oftentimes, you won’t know that someone is struggling from depression from just looking at us or interacting with us briefly. I have a handful of close friends and family members that are on my “Superhero List,” people that offer support on days that I’m really struggling. But, unless I told you what I struggle with, you wouldn’t know. I promise you.
Those on the “Superhero List” are people that I know that I can trust to talk to if I am feeling down, encourage me to do things that help me to get back to an even keel (so to speak), and will love on me on those days when I just need someone to be there without constantly asking if I’m ok or smothering me.
Society’s Viewpoint
Some commercials for anti-depressants depict depression as a person that is chronically unhappy and everyone seems to know it so they avoid that person or treat them differently.
Other commercials hit a little closer to home by showing that people with depression will often put on a fake smile so no one really knows how they feel inside.
What that 15 or 30 second commercial doesn’t tell you is that the person with depression would love to tell you how we feel but oftentimes we don’t want to burden you or we think that you won’t understand.
Smiling On the Outside
I have a great life! I have a lot of friends, a house, a car, followers on social media, and two wonderful dogs that adore me. I have a car with gas, food on the table, I’m able to travel to faraway lands, and I have people in my life that love me. I am grateful for the many blessings that I have been given and try to show that gratitude each day.
But, some days I wake up and its like I’m in a fog or my head is in a fish bowl. Life seems dull and uninteresting. I know that I have to put on a smile and leave the house but I don’t really want to. Not today. Today I just want to crawl back in bed and maybe have a good cry.
It’s not that anything is necessarily wrong! I just feel wrong and I’m not sure I could tell you why. Some days I can’t voice to you how I feel because I’m unsure of it myself.
On these days, it’s like I have lost control of my own body. Depression is in charge today. And if I sit and think about everything that I had planned to get done today but might not be able to do because I’m not sure I can stop crying… then the anxiety hits, too.
Accept Me for Me
I have had so many people try to change me or treat me with kid gloves because they know that I am depressed and live with suicidal thoughts. Just because I have suicidal thoughts doesn’t mean I want to act on them.
I don’t want to die, its not the prevalent thought in my mind. It’s a fleeting thought that floats through a few times per day and then it goes away. I don’t know if everyone is like me, I’m sure I’m different in some ways.
Honestly, I just want to be accepted and loved for who I am. I don’t want to be defined by the mental health “illness” that a doctor has diagnosed me with. I am not my diagnosis.
I am an independent, loving, passionate, creative woman that strives to help others because I know what it feels like to feel overwhelmed, unloved, or forgotten. I know what it feels like to feel neglected, abused, and thrown away like trash. So, I pour my heart out daily to help others to never feel that way.
Some days I give too much of myself and have to take a break to recharge my batteries, but one thing that I have learned from my depression is how to read my own body and to read my own mind. I know now when I need a break and I am strong enough now to ask for it and to expect it.
This Can Change
Ultimately, what it comes down to is that mental health challenges are not commonly discussed until after someone has already acted on the thoughts in their mind. Then, everyone is sad and wonders why it happened. They want to talk about how amazing that person was and how sad they are to know that they are gone.
But, did any of those people take the time to listen or to ask questions?
Did they try to dig deeper when that person said they were “fine”?
Did they listen when the person said that they needed someone to talk to?
It is acceptable to talk about physical ailments but not mental ones and that is what needs to change. Until we can bring these issues into the light without fear of judgment, we lose more to suicide or addiction or however else people feel is the only way to cope with how they feel but cant express.
We talk about cancer like its normal, because it is. It’s tragic and heartbreaking, but it’s normal and socially acceptable.
We talk about ALS, Lupus, and heart disease like they are normal parts of life, because they are and should be talked about.
Why can’t we do the same thing with depression, anxiety, PTSD, bipolar, or any of the other mental health challenges that exist in the world? Because we can’t see them so we’re not sure they are really there?
This is real life. And I live it every day, as do millions of others around the world that are just like me.
And I promise you that I only want to be loved and accepted for who I am. And I promise that I only want to smash the stigmas surrounding mental health. That’s all I want.
I would love to hear thoughts on this. I realize I may be off base or others may not feel the way that I feel so I would love to start a conversation about how you feel and what you would to see change.
Thanks for reading,
Ivy
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Thank you for your highly educational post.
I have seen in my country a lot of people that want to treat people with depression as if they were just simply sad or if they were a very lazy person, and posts like this one make gives them the tools to treat these kinds of illness.
And you make a great point about, just because we can't see them and nothing is apparently wrong with our body, like a runny nose in the case of flu, it doesn't mean there is nothing wrong with our mind, if we want to be an integral persona we need both mind and body.
Thank you for such a wonderful comment! I'm sorry that you can relate to this one but that's why I wrote it, because anyone with mental health challenges is usually treated unfairly or like we don't belong. I do like the point that you made about needing both your body and mind because that is so true. Oftentimes there is a disconnent in the body/mind connection.
Ivy
Interesting write-up on mental challenges
I'd like to resteem, already upvoted
Thanks for reading, upvoting, and resteeming (I hope :)
Ivy
Beautifully spoken heartfelt thoughts are what you present here, Ivy and for that alone you should get respect and admiration; not everybody is capable of opening up, making themselves vulnerable like this. For this courage alone you've gained my admiration and respect.
You should feel lucky you are though. One of my best friends committed suicide by jumping off a 10-store building, and like you said, not a bad word about him was spoken at his funeral, but also no one saw it coming. Not even his parents. At every party he was the most joyous person you could ever imagine to meet. If you were his friend and needed him, he was always there. He had a job and many, many friends: the church where he was buried couldn't fit the people that came to say their last good-bey.
What I truly hope is that this post of yours can give others the strength needed to open up. No one can help you if you don't reach out. And just because I realize that's easier said than done, is why this post needs all the support it can get.
Did you contact Nathan? Did you post this in his prevent suicide project / channel? Either way, I'll resteem it.
One last note: under your heading "Society’s Viewpoint" you mention commercials only. This is not to criticize you, quite the opposite; this says so much about where society gets its viewpoints from. I believe they even call these little bundles of misinformation "infomercials" and "documentaries" about it are "infotainment"... Also the "smiling on the outside" part is heavily influenced about the picture off eternally happy people where not only the commercials but also the daily sitcoms are saturated with. Heck, we even do it to ourselves through popular social media like Facebook: we typically only share our happy moments and our great victories... And each of us individually gets bombarded with pictures and stories of people who always seem to have it better than us...
Your post is a much needed antidote to all that nonsense. You did great. Thank you so much for that! :-) <3
Thank you for such a wonderful comment, I enjoy your frienship and value your contribution to Steem! I am so sorry for your loss, that sounds just awful and heartbreaking. I have lost quite a few people to suicide, especially in the past few years and I am always at a loss after it happens but I can unfortunately relate to why they choose that path for themselves.
I honestly hope you are right that if some of us start speaking out then others will follow and will open up to their loved ones about how they are feeling. It can be intimidating to do so but your loved ones want to know how you are feeling and want to support you.
Nathan has been supportive of a lot of my posts and I did send this one to him personally because it may be helpful to his group. Thank you for resteeming!
I mentioned the commercials deliberately and you picked up on that so I thank you! There are many misconceptions about mental health challenges because we get information from commercials that are trying to make sales.
You are very sweet and a good friend :)
Ivy
Untreated Depression Is the Most Common Cause of Suicide. Nice post. 😘
I agree and thank you!
Ivy
You are welcome ^_~
I just resteemed this because you so eloquently spoke of a common misconception around this issue with such open hearted honesty.
It’s what needs to be spoken of more.
I’ve often mentioned at my shows for people to keep an eye out for those in their community that might be too scared to reach out for help. Because when you’re deep inside those feeling it feels far too hard and far too far away to reach other to others, even though we might know that we really should.
ANYWAY, thank you for this heart sharing.
Blessings
Thank you, Nathan, for always being so supportive! You inspired this one so I'm grateful to you and to your group on Discord. You are all doing great work! It can be difficult to reach out to others, I agree, and its so awesome that you are working to educate others about taking care of each other. Compassion, kindness, and understanding are key to reaching through the darkness and pulling someone back.
Ivy
Very well written. I know what you live with as someone who has had PTSD and TBI coupled with plenty of depression for 10 years. My soon to be ex never understood what I was living with and would take it personally if I was unhappy and would then push me away isolating me even more. Luckily I have had several outstanding counselors who have taught me coping methods and a few family members who have been supportive. Society at large still has a long way to go before it truly understands depression and it loses its stigma. Depression is not unbeatable but whereas the treatment for an infection might be an antibiotic, the treatment for depression is love and support and that is not found as easily as going to the pharmacy. I'm glad that you have dogs! Animals can be a wonderful support for depression. So is travel! Looking forward to more great write ups
Thank you for that compliment! I'm sorry that your ex took offense, mine did the same thing so I understand the isolation you felt from that. Counseling can be incredible so I'm glad you have found some solace in it. Thank you so much for talking about yourself and how your life has been impacted, that shows so much courage. My dogs have been a great comfort to me because they know when I am down and I get tons of cuddles from them :)
You are awesome, never forget that!
Ivy
Thanks Ivy! You are awesome too, reaching out via writing to those who need it most and fearlessly sharing your own experiences.
If sharing my experiences can make someone else's life just a little bit better then I have achieved something that day :)
Ivy
This post was shared in the Curation Collective Discord community for curators, and upvoted and resteemed by the @c-squared community account after manual review.
Thanks so much for that!
Ivy
I like that you said it's all in your head and it's a part of who you are. I have long believed that kids in public schools treated with ADD and ADHD are medicated without anyone really understanding their brains. They are the way they are for a reason. It's a part of who they are, and that also comes with certain gifts, skills, and abilities that might go overlooked. God made everyone a unique and special individual to be appreciated.
We are all given incredible gifts and talents by our creator, I agree. Depression makes me unique but I have a brand new way of looking at the world. I try to look at it like a gift. Might sound a little off but it has been a great comfort to me. I can relate to what you said about medicating children with ADD and ADHD because my nephew is experiencing that craziness right now.
Ivy
There are many who suffer from depression who would never dare to put out such a post because of the stigma associated.
Thank you for being so brave.
I was smiling when reading that you have others to talk to. A network is truly important
You are too kind, good sir, and I appreciate you for that! I do have a great support network that reach out to me quite often and have loved me through a lot. It's been a wild ride for sure but I wouldn't be where I am now without them.
Ivy