memory - The Dog knows!!!
Wake up, get out of bed. Dog (Maggie) lifts her head with an expression of here we go, again!
Pull on my shorts and "let's go, Maggie!" Walk down the stairs and out to the car. Open the door and Maggie sits down in the driveway. Exacerbated I exclaim "WTF girl! I do not have time for this! Get in the car! She just stares back at me." and I say "Stay here then!" I jump in the car and realize I do not have my keys, FFS!!!
I run back into the house grab my keys come back to the car and Maggie is sitting in her seat gives me a sideways glance, and turns away from me, as if to say "Forget something, Asshole???" 
Hi twirlspin,
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)
Judges:
If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here
Thank you to @matytan for the great banner
@com-judge I should be a perfect fit for the judges, as I generally, am not that funny
application accepted :P
Gidget is the name of the Taco Bell dog.
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At least we know who the brain of the operation is
lol, she trained me well
Thats a good boy
Dogs are smarter than your average bear! #dogfacts