World War 2 (With side forgotten quotes) Part 2

“Za phaaaaantooom of ze opera is there” - Adolf Hitler

“No, don’t put me in the freezer” - Captain America

“There are those who say my head looks like my balls, those people are both right and assassinated” - Winston Churchill

“I have no idea what I am doing” - Benito Mussolini

“You better keep clapping Mofo” - Joseph Stalin

Picking up from where we left off

Hitler had re-militarized the Rhineland while France were looking at pornographic pictures disguised as “student’s studies” on the weekend, read my post for further explanation. As ballsy as that move seems it still at best a cupcake move because we must not forget that after all this was within Germany’s territory. Hitler’s next move was to go outside of Germany, will he do it? Imagine if me writing otherwise actually changes history and we save ove 60 million people; so just in case: yes he does.

In his book “Mein Kampf” that he wrote while he was in prison after his first attempt to take over Germany, Hitler says “One blood demands one reich, Austria must return to the motherland”. Hitler saw it as necessary that all Germans in Europe must unite under one ruler, and where can you find the largest German population outside Germany? That’s right! Syria

“Are you going to keep writing these lame jokes?” The answer is yes

Austria was the country that included the highest number of Germans living outside of Germany, Austria is also the country in which Hitler was born and raised in.

Anschluss AKA the joining on AKA they made fun of me for being Austrian and not German so I made Austria a part of Germany.

The first attempt for the joining was done by the Nazi party in Austria but the attempt failed but caused the death of Austria’s Chancellor Engelbert Dollfuss

Who really does look like a guy who would die in an failed attempt to take over.

That led the Austrian government to do everything ao they don’t have to join an hostile party like the Nazi party but as the saying goes “There’s no party like the Nazi prty because the Nazi party doesn’t stop attempting to take over the government by force”, the sayinf was later shortened. But Hitler decided that the first German move out of Germany is the joining on with Austria.

In order for Hitler to complete the joining on he need to guarantee that no neighboring country of Austria would take a military against him, Hitler ain’t want no trouble. At that time there was no more dangerous threat for a military action to be taken against Germany more than fascist Italy ruled by Benito Mussolini

Benito Mussolini hated communism as much as Hitler but didn’t share that hatred toward the Jewish people and when Engelbert Dollfuss died Mussolini said “Hitler is the guilty man and a dangerous fool”. Benito didn’t stand Hitler which is ironic to say the least considering later events. All of that changed in 1935 when Italy attacked Ethiopia

An invasion that probably because Mussolini hated communism so much that made him Ethiopia was the Utopia they were talking about

At the time Italy was universally isolated so they needed allies so Benito needed allies thus he send his son-in-law Gian Galeazzo Ciano

Here he is trying to look serious so people don’t mention that he just farted

Mussolini wanted Gian to negotiate and win over Hitler AKA the guilty man and dangerous fool. Let’s not be harsh on Mussolini as assholes usually give in to requests made by the guy fucking their daughters much like in Donald Trump and Jared Kushner.

And it did in fact work, Hitler signed a pact of friendship and alliance with Mussolini that would allow Germany to invade Austria but under the condition that Germany won’t cross the border to Italy. And in 1937 that pact extended and Hitler promised Mussolini that he would let him whatever he wants in the Mediterranean Sea

In exchange Hitler would be allowed to do whatever he wants north of the Alps mountain. Thus Hitler guaranteed that Austria is sold and all he needed was an excuse to face the world with; in 1938 Hitler had the Austrian Ruler in Berlin and much like any Iraqi having a guest, the host started threatening the guest. Hitler threatened that if the rules doesn’t do what he wants he will invade Austria and by the end of the same day all Nazi affiliates who were arrested in 1934 were released from prison and unified the currency between Germany and Austria and rhe ruler also agreed to hire Nazi members in the government including, the most dangerous one, Arthur Seyss-Inquart

Here he is deciding between moving his king after you made a check in chess or he should just shoot you to win

Imagine having a government official who is a supporter of a different country like Arthur Inquart. After the unification of currency, riots started in Austria, organized by Nazis. So Arthur Seyss-Inquart requested Germany to solve the riots in order to keep the country safe, or so he Seyss. Ayyy?

“Again!”

Hitler responded and invaded Austria, and yes, on a fucking SATURDAY(A weekend). The Austrian army surrendered so quick that the invasion happened easier than it should without one person killed. Truly, the invasion happened and a lot of important areas were taken over in a way that you would think the soldiers were just going to Disneyland. To make sure that the invasion sound like the right thing to do Hitler made a poll in Germany and Austria about the unification of the two countries, the surprise is that the percentage of people agreeing to the unification in Austria (99.7%) was higher than that in Germany (99.1). That enhanced Hitler’s reputation and made him more beloved by Germans who were happy to have more land and people. Now let’s try it again, the world is silent as we do this, so let’s take over another country.

Next in line for Hitler was Czechoslovakia, which side note if Hitler didn’t make it as a dictator he really would have made a great travel vlogger. The second highest German population outside Germany was in Czechoslovakia with millions of Germans living there, and a bit by bit in 1938 Hitler started complaining about how horrible the German minority was treated; you know what that means. Just imagine Hitler being mad about the anti-human rights treatment people were getting... Hitler started to make puplic threats that if the Czechoslovakian government doesn’t treat the Germans well he will invade the Sudetenland

Human rights violation is a red line for Hitler of course, his hands are tied as he hates watching another human suffering. The mistake Hitler made was not saying that on a weekend so the world was watching in worry. During a time where the world was revovering from a world war and a Great Depression that followed there was one deformed penis guy with a funny mustacche was threatening that if he doesn’t get what he wants he will start a war. On the 29th of September 1938 Mussolini played the role of the peace dove. Just imagine this guy being the dove

Mussolini called for a summit in Munich between himself, Hitler, England’s prime minister and France’s prime minister in an attempt to reach a peaceful solution. That summit by the way happened without the attendance of bloody CZECHOSLOVAKIA, THE COUNTRY THEY ARE DISCUSSING! As well as the absent of Russia who is supposed to be a great country at the time, but everyone involved hated Russia because it was communist, no one likes a communist, sorry Bernie.

Hitler was holding a firm opinion, he doesn’t want war but that won’t matter if it is on the expense of Germans living across the border. So France’s prime minister Édouard Daladier

And England’s prime minister Chamberlain

Both agreed to Hitler’s demands.

As Czechoslovakia saw what transpired at the summit they gave Hitler the area he wanted, just take it dude. Hitler’s demand seemed kinda reasonable to the prime ministers and that is, ladies and gentlemen, is what is called the Appeasement Policy AKA lay down the crazy man’s worries to bed before he goes off with our heads. Following the take over of Czechoslovakia Hitler became the strongest man in Europe, so much so that Time Magazine in 1938 named him person of the year due to him making the world do what he wants

You can’t blame Time Magazine over putting him on the cover. My dude invaded two countries without killing anyone, AND with the approval of the world. To Hitler invading that area was the first step of taking over the entire country. And much like what he did with Austria on the 13th of March 1939 Hitler hosted Czechoslovakia’s President at the time Emil Hácha in Germany

And threatened him that if he wouldn’t surrender Hitler will invade Czechoslovakia with his military and set up air strikes on Prague. And by 4 AM Hácha signed a declaration of surrender, 2 hours later the German military entered Czechoslovakia, with that there was no other country with German minority for Hitler to take over.

“Except for Poland”

Jesus Christ dude, would you stop? Just take a break, will ya? Dear reader, not only Poland was a the third country with the highest German population outside of Germany, nope, it was also the pathway to get to the head and headquarter of the communists, Mother Russia, or as it was known at the time: The Soviet Union. Austria and Czechoslovakia were a piece of cake, a smoothie for Hitler, but to invade means that it will need to star Daniel Day Lewis, in other words

There will be blood.

This time Hitler knew that the moment he would step into Poland, France and England will declare war. Woah, are you sure about this one ma Führer? We could just call it a day. We will see what will do next

To be continued

Just kidding

Hitler saw that by the time France would reach west of German, which should take 3 weeks, he would have alreadyd taken over, ate, and shat Poland. So after that Hitler saw that he could just take France aside and sign a treaty with them instead of a war, after all the country would already be down what would they be fighting for? As for Britain they are so far and he saw that Britain woild rather just not interfere in Central Europe family matters. Time was of the essence, we need to go in and control everything within three weeks. Instead of relying on trench warfare which is basically two sides hiding and shooting from behind covers Hitler resorted to a tactic that would change military tactics forever; the Blitzkrieg AKA the lightning war explained in the video below

The tactic was created by the young officer Hans Guderian

Everyone is set, all waiting for the green light. But still there was one obstacle, Mother Russia. Hitler had to guarantee that Russia won’t take sides with Poland because if they did then the war would take longer encouraginf France and Britain to get involved and later force Germany to sign the treaty they originally planned; such treaty and defeat means a deja vu for Germany but much worse. Thus Hitler ordered his foriegn affairs minister Joachim von Ribbentrop

To have an agreement with The Soviet Union foreign affairs minister Vyacheslav Molotov

Don’t bother pronouncing the names, God knows I didn’t even try.

And on the 24th of August 1938 the two sat down and Molotov signed a peace Treaty of Non-aggression between Germany and The Soviet Union for ten years. So Hitler guaranteed that Russia won’t cross Germany for ten years; not only that a secret part was added ensuring that Stalin won’t get involved in Germany’s invasion on Poland, in exchange Stalin would be able to take over Latvia, Estonia, and Lithuania without Hitler’s interference. This is some serious gangs shit right here. Both guys had mustaches, seriously guys; mustaches, let’s shave them and no this has nothing to do with the fact that I cannot grow a mustache, dad. Stalin also wanted some areas east of Poland.

As always Hitler needed a good excuse to give the world so they don’t attack him. The excuse Hitler need was given to him on a silver platter by Reinard Heydrich

The right hand of Heinrich Himmler

Who’s that second name, an SS forces leader. The one who handed Hitler the report that exposed and led to the death of Ernst Rhom as we saw in a previous part, remember? It is like an avengers assemply up in here now.

On the 1st on September after midnight Heydrich dresses up Nazi SS members along with some political prisoners that he brought out as Polish Army soldiers and led them to attack a German costums checkpoint. Then he shot the political prisoners dead so there’s proof of the attack. The next day Hitler stormed into the parliament condemning the “Polish military attack” declaring war on Poland.

Two days Britain and France declare war on Germany, thus starting World War 2.

Tune in next part for my longest post ever to see who won