Your Mom is So Hot That I’m Gonna Have Her Screaming When I Give Her the Positive Results From the Clinical Trial of The Body Temperature Regulation Drug I’ve Discovered

Your mom always leaves my office all sweaty and out of breath, because she is part of a group of volunteers taking part in our FDA mandated experimentation which requires daily incremental pulse rate increases to test the efficacy of the medication on individuals who are missing a particular hormone inhibitor that controls the regulation of body temperature.

I always see your mom licking her lips when I’m talking to her and it drives me wild because that is a clear sign of dehydration which can exacerbate the illness from which your mother is already suffering.

Just this morning, before you were even awake, I was pumping your mom full of protein, because amino acid residues act as an adjuvant to the pharmaceutical being tested, and your mother’s insulin pump for her diabetes provided a convenient avenue of administration.

I know how shy and self-conscious your mom can be, especially on the days when she’s even hotter than normal. In fact, she told me this morning she wasn’t even sure she wanted to be involved anymore. But we talked it out and she ultimately agreed that I’m the only man that has what she needs, and pretty soon she’s going to actually enjoy taking it so much that she’ll start coming every day, sometimes twice a day. That would be great because it would allow us to run all the diagnostics and fine-tune the dosage to bring her body temperature to a perfect equilibrium and cure this devastating illness from which she suffers once and for all.

Also, I had sex with her.