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RE: ColorChallenge: ThursdayGreen - "Kicking a Hornet's Nest" [11MinuteFreeWrite]
Great dialogue, I liked how it flowed and yet the angst and anger is there. XJ-1920 has lot of soul for someone with that name. You really feel for her. As for the husband (ex?), don't get me started! Love doesn't disappear that quickly, not from that, someone needs to have a stern word with him. Sad thing is, some people are like that, that's why its believable.
Good job. Looking forward to the next one.
I thought about doing a dialogue-heavy part for this story, so I'm glad that it turned out well! As you pointed out before, the name contrast is why I made it that way. It makes them seem like they came out of a factory, and even though there are laws that restrain their very emotions, they are bursting to the seams with it. I really acted out the scenes to make it more believable. You could imagine how little time I had to do that, so I'm glad it was still effective.
With regard to the husband, it's the first time they had the chance to talk ever since he discovered she cheated on him with women multiple times. She was painted in a bad light, but one that uncovered the truth. His anger stems from that, and his love hasn't totally faded, but it was tarnished for sure.
I know it's great when it passes your standards, so I'm happy I'm 4/4 for this series haha! Even if the final ones fail miserably, I would still have the majority haha! Thanks for your continued support, mate! I appreciate it more than I could express :D
Dialogue done right can be great. Move the story along, fill in details, show personality, etc. When not done right, well, it can bog a story down. Keeping the dialogue real is the challenge, I find. Like getting into the head of different people, and then conveying that through written word. It helps when you have multiple people already in your head! Mine keep me company at least. That's a plus.
So yes, I liked this one, it felt right. The husband's response was believable, given some people I have known, but extreme. Which emphasised the back and forth between them in a way that upped the dynamics of the story. It worked.
Awesome! This is so great to hear. I can't emphasize how much this sort of feedback means to me. Given this story was sort of done as a reflex, it's great that everything still worked. I really wanted this to shine a light to the dynamics and I'm glad it did. Thanks for the ups, mate!
Yeah, thank you for the kind compliments!
Wait, what? Who told you that you could come out during daylight?
It's evening somewhere else in the world. Plus, who are you to keep me at bay, you're not the boss of me!
Ugh, I can't even. Don't start with me, I'm warning. Sorry for this, mate. Carry on.
Ha, you're opening a can of worms there. Let the internal dialogue flow free, my friend.
Having discussed this with my own voices they tell me they have no idea what I am talking about.
Anyway, like you say, carry on.
Haha! That's why I put a lid on it before our internal voices have a conversation of their own. Once that happens, who knows what shenanigans they might get in to.