Daily Dose of Sultnpapper 01/27/18 > How do you handle telemarketers? Here is how I do it …
Well it’s the weekend, as far as I’m concerned if it lasted only one day I would still be very grateful, but I get two days off so I’m extremely grateful after the week we’ve had experienced. The one thing that can set me off pretty easily is telemarketers. If I never get another telemarketer call again it will be too soon as far as I’m concerned.
On Friday I got a total of 15 telemarketer calls between 9:00 AM and 8:30 PM between my two cell phones. I understand that the person on the other end of the phone is just trying to make a living, I get that, my issue is that both my cell phone numbers are on the National Do Not Call List. By law these folks cannot legally solicit me on these devices.
I am pretty sure everyone reading this has had calls as well from these pesky folks, it would be a different story if I actually had fill out some contest form to try and win something but I learned that lesson years ago on filling out forms to try and win something. If you fill out a form and submit it in a contest, your do not call status is nonexistent for the company in possession of that form. I wonder if there is a black market on completed contest forms. There may be some small office building somewhere where there are just rows of tables, chairs, computer screens and blank forms with people filling out forms from the information on the computer screens. Then when they have a form, complete with a forged signature, for every name on the list they box them up and sell the forms on the dark web to the highest bidder.
I once had some software for my computer that was named List Grabber, if you found a list that you liked all you had to do was highlight the first name or entry on the list and then click the retrieve button and presto … you had the whole list perfectly sorted. That software came in real handy when I was with a company that was just getting started and didn’t have a customer base.
The telemarketers have stepped up their game now; they have mastered the art of deception in disguising where the call is originating from by displaying a phone number that appears to be local to your number. They have gotten me to answer a couple times using that trick. My guess is that their phone system will display to the call recipient the number that the telemarketer had just finished calling rather than the number the call is being generated from.
But as with anything, be careful what you wish for and that goes for these telemarketers, when I answer a telemarketer call I automatically go into competition "on" mode, the game is how long can I keep them on the line and keep them from making more calls.
My favorite telemarketer call to get is the “your business has qualified” call. This call is for small business loans up to $200 thousand USD’s, well since I don’t have a small business I just create one really quickly and press one to speak to the representative. Using my best Hispanic sounding voice and my character name of “Paco”’ I go to work playing the game, “keep them on the clock”.
The conversation goes something like this;
TMR: “Hello this Joe, and who am I speaking with?”
Me: Mi nombre es Paco.
TMR: “Great Paco, you have a business that could use a low interest, easy to qualify for business loan?”
Me: Si senor.
TMR: “Well that is good, what is the name of the business and do you have revenue of at least $25K a month?”
Me: De business name is Paco’s. Paco “Eats Tacos” and si, $25,000 a month is very little, mi business does about that in a 10 days.
TMR: “Excellent Paco, well we have loans available for new customers of up to $200,000 and we can tailor a loan for Pacos Tacos that could help your business run smoother. Do you have an amount in mind that you are looking to borrow?”
Me: Mi not sure, how I know how much, maybe $30,000 maybe $50,000.
TMR: “In order to qualify for our loan program we will have to have you send us copies of the last 3 months bank statements for Paco’s Tacos business bank account, will that be a problem?”
Me: Maybe, why banco account papers?
TMR: “So we can see your business is actually generating the revenue required on a monthly basis to qualify for the amount of the loan.”
Me: Mi business is cash business, no banco por de business.
TMR: “Your business doesn’t have a bank account?”
Me: Si senor, solemente de dinero verde.
TMR: “What? What is a burdee?”
Me: You don’t know what a bird is?
TMR: “I know what a bird is, what does that have to do with the bank account?
Me: Mi don’t use bank account, banks to mucho problemos por deposit de cash , dinero verde.
TMR: “How can you do credit card sales? You do take credit cards, right? There has to be an account with a bank for those sales transactions.”
Me: No senor, no credit cards, solemente de dinero verde.
TMR: “ I find that hard to believe , you mean I can’t come buy a dozen tacos at Pacos and pay for them with a credit card?”
Me: Not only can you no pay with card you cannot get no tacos tombien.
TMR: “ Wait, what ? Huh, I can’t buy tacos? Pacos Tacos sells tacos, right?
Me: Why you think Paco sells tacos? Paco no sells tacos.
TMR: “if I can’t buy tacos at Pacos Tacos, why is the name Pacos Tacos? What can I buy?
Me: Marijuana senor, marijuana.
TMR: “ you’re a drug dealer,,,, click.
That conversation actually has taken place on a few different occasions; it is one of my favorites. Sometimes it doesn’t get this far and I get hung up on earlier, but I actually had one company call me back and want to discuss setting up a bank account for me.
I got inspired to start doing this after hearing a tape recording of a guy in Oklahoma who did a similar conversation with a cruise line company offering a free cruise but in order to get the cruise you had to agree to sit in on a ninety minute seminar on the cruise and you had to have a wife, or travel partner because the rooms were double occupancy only. He pretended to be gay and then tried to get the TMR to go with him on the cruise, it was hilarious. I’m sorry I can’t remember his name, but I assure you if you ever hear it you will know it.
When you drive as much as I do any entertainment I can create during my drive time helps to pass the time. It also is payback for these companies not adhering to the law, since my numbers are on the “do not call list.” How do you handle unsolicited telemarketing calls? Are you on the national do not call registry? With as many calls as I get in a day, it doesn’t seem like it is working very well, but then again, I don’t know how many calls I’m not getting from companies who follow the law.
One thing I do know is; if you call me I will dang sure take the time to talk to you, it might be a waste of your time but that is the small price you will pay to call me.
Until next time,
@sultnpapper
Oh boy, do I have a story to tell you.
I'm from Finland and I have been a target of these London based telemarketers for 2 years now.
And the police have told me to change my phone number. So does these other national officials do, and so did my phone company.
And I am so stupid that I still haven't changed it... Because I have an idea....
Right now, I have been writing to the Steemit community for 90 minutes.
It's 5 am here and I'm supposed to try to get some sleep until the rest of the family wakes up. But it was a pleasure to find this post of yours.
I need to re-tweet it, or what was that word..
Hey @mr72bussi , Thanks for digging this up and giving it a read and comment. Sounds like I may have inspired you to have some "fun"with the telemarketers.
Hey to you,
It's great to hear from you. And I'm always on the lookout for new news about the issue of telemarketing problems.
That's why I read about your blog post and commented on it.
And I have a business deal in my mind, but I don't want to tell you more about it here.
My main objective to be here in the Steemit community is to earn enough money to start my business plan.
You should know that I made a blog post where I asked if it would be possible to link up a Blockchain account to a phone number.
It's a big part of my business plan and I think that you could like my plan.
Anyway, you could go follow my account and comment on the blog post to hear more about it if you're interested.
Posted using Partiko Android
When I was maybe 12 my Dad and stepmother used to sleep in on the weekends so I had to answer the door to Jehova's Witness and the like. As I've gotten old I've fantasized (but never acted on) my revenge. I wish I had the guts to answer the door, the wife and I, me wearing a condom and her wearing a strapon, and enthusiastically invite them in.
Trust me, I'm a doctor.
Yea, I think you house would never be approached again, maybe not even the mail man.
I can't leave you alone for five minutes without you coming up with some thing like this. How did you get out of your cage? Why am I awake? What am I going to do with you? Feeding you is not the answer. It only makes you stronger.
I used to work night shifts periodically. I would just get home and all snuggled into my warm bed when some &^%^* telemarketer would call. I would say I am not interested and hang up. One morning I had one who called me right back and told me I was rude. So I asked for their phone number. Why would I want that? So I can call you in the middle of the night and wake you up! Click.
Sometimes I would have a bit of fun too. Is the lady of the house in? No. When will she be in? Not any time soon. Tomorrow perhaps. Don't know. That depends on the coroner. The coroner? Yeah. She's dead. Click.
I would wager that telemarketers could write some pretty good stories as well on their experiences. The big problem is one that is always overlooked in the discussion with most people who say I am wrong for complaining about it, and that is my phone is off limits by the law.
I know you agree and have done similar stuff with TMR's, so don't think I have confused you with one of those, just putting it out there for those who may show up and speak up.
I hate being bugged about stuff I don't need or want. I also don't answer surveys.
The telemarketer calls just keep coming and coming
I had one at work recently Call in on my cellphone
Put it in my desk and kept alternating between sounding interested then putting him on hold because of someone walking in
Managed to keep him busy for must be close to half an hour
Silly I know but it amused me
I haven't got one that I could tie up yet for a half hour, I think eighteen minutes is the longest so far for me. It was a call that said my computer might be at risk and they needed to check it, as I was driving down the road, so I went through the steps with them, and they kept getting frustrated, I told them I was at home and it was very lucky I just happened to be at my desk with the computer, each time they would give me a code to type in a little box in the lower left side of the screen, as they would tell me i just memorized the code, then when they couldn't see anything on there end they would ask me to read what I had typed in the box, so from memory I would pretend I was reading it.
It was driving them nuts, they thought they had a fish on the line and was reeling it in, they even had me wait so they could get an engineer involved to try and figure out why they couldn't see my information.
Finally I told them I didn't have internet, the guy called me an SOB, they are the crooks trying to steal stuff or implant a virus and I'm the SOB?
lol that’s s good one
Ohhbyes they can curse so bad when they find out yourvtoying with them
I can just imagine the pleasure you get from leading them on like that, so funny!
I did a post when I first started on steemit about being scammed by so called telemarketing 'companies'
What was happening here is that crooked employees working for companies we have legal debit orders with, download payment lists with all our details ie ID number, bank account, address and so forth. Those lists actually were sold on the streets of Durban and the 'companies' then instituted debit orders under the guise of a telesale! When this happened to my son firstly and then me, I discovered just what a big business this was, the banks were not interested, merely reversed the debit. What upset me most, was the number of online complaints where people who dont check their accounts or dont get an sms notify, were scammed out of a couple of thousand rands over a period, sometimes as little as ZAR25 monthly. It's a long story but I was in touch with radio & TV consumer journalists and the tv station discovered their modus operandi. This went on for years and the banks have only recently tightened up their laws. So they get the opposite reaction from me, I just rudely cut the call these days, if they ask if I am Lizelle, I dont answer, just ask who I am speaking to & if its telesales, I hit the red button.
Sorry for the long story but that was something that used to get to me big time!
But I love your story mr Papper, so funny :):)
Thanks Lizelle, sounds like the government needs to crack down on the list sellers over their, and the people creating the false transaction. If they don't make the charge real noticeable, they could get away with it for years as people have gotten away from paying attention to details and reconciling statements and accounts.
I don't think the list sellers have stopped, as all that data is quite valuable, it was shocking seeing it on tv, the reporters had hidden cameras and worked undercover, as if they were ' buyers', these guys looked like drug dealers. So the government did eventually stop the practice of telesales being a legal mandate to institute a debit order but now we get the sms scams which some people must fall for otherwise these people would not be doing it! I've inherited money, won thousands in lotteries etc etc. I believe the list our details were on was illegally downloaded via my cellphone provider as I took out 2 contracts years ago and both those numbers get identical scam sms's. The inheritance ones always start with 'a relative who shares your surname blah blah blah' I often feel like sending them a message asking what my surname is as I've forgotten! After reading your & @cecicastor's responses I feel like doing it or calling the number they provide but then I'll be wasting my precious airtime! So I just block those numbers.
Have a great Sunday mr Papper & hope the family do as well, no more pet illnesses for a while at least!
Thanks Lizelle, you have a great day as well. I know our turtles should be fine for a while as they are both in hibernation right now. The rest of the pets are a different story though. I can pretty safely say that the lone surviving guinea pig named Squirt will probably live out his existence as an only guinea pig going forward.
I haven't answered a call like this since the days of landlines and dial-phones. I'd just set the phone receiver down on the desk and walk away. When I came back to a dial-tone I'd hang the thing up again. Evidently I was no fun at all.
What used to frost Cw's ass was when he'd get some spam on his cell phone and he was paying for it. Maybe it still does. Everything seems to piss him off these days. I've stopped keeping track. (Or paying attention. I just let him rave.)
BTW, S&P, you are a devious f**ker.
Enchanted, please when you need to use the F word just use "guzbuck" , I created that word for just these type purposes. The general public will not even know the meaning of that word until 2029. So I would actually be a devious guzbucker, and your are absolutely correct in your assessment of me.