You just had to search back contact, to know you were right in the first place, and you recognized it again. This time you could deal without self destroying things in mind to forget what life teached you. That is a hell of a progress darling, I admire you for that! You now forgive him, without expecting it will be different from now. YOU have changed not him. He gave you life, the reason to be thankful for. No more no less.