Anxiety isn't real

You know that moment when
You wake up and 7 or 10 minutes later your heart wants to get out your chest to run a marathon? That's not real.

The pills, sublingual drops, and patches you use to go back to the usual 70-80 bmp. Yeah, that shit ain't real either.

Struggling to get the fuck out of your bed because you just wasted 20 minutes trying not to panic isn't real either.

The 20 different excuses you come up with to explain a normal person why you are late. Again. Aren't real.

Knowing that every 20 or 45 minutes after finally arriving to your work place and convincing your boss you are not lazy, you just had. Another. Bad morning. That's when you have to fight intrusive thoughts. But it's okay because they aren't real.

All the shit they put inside your head. Things like you are not supposed to be there. Never allowing you to be present, instead, always thinking about what you have to do in 10 minutes, this afternoon or tomorrow morning after fakely panicking. Of course.

But hey! After 6 pm you will go to grab a beer with your work buddies. Hopefully it won't crash with an intrusive thought of yours, you know the ones that say that you would totally prefer to go home, smoke a joint, watch a sitcom, and pray you fall asleep in the next 4 hours or less.

Fortunately those thoughts do not exist. They don't push you or pull you with the strength of a fucking titan.

Also, in case of emergency, it's not like you are required to explain why you are cancelling your 5th plan in a row. They understand, don't they? They understand that that seven-letter word is not real, so they actually get it when you need to run away.

Oh wait a second. It's night time, gotta go to bed even if it's not even 12pm already. Mostly because I don't want to deal with the recurrent nightmares and sleeping issues, you know, I don't want to waste time with fake things, I have a bunch of stuff to do tomorrow anyway. It's not like having a 10 hour job that requires my entire mental capacity is waiting for me anyway.

I am a Psychologist, and have never actually felt an anxiety so strong like the one I've being feeling for the past 9 months. I am emotionally wrecked. I can hardly understand what's going on in and outside my brain. How could you possibly believe someone not trained to deal whit this shit understands anything around them?

If aniety is not a real thing for you, please keep it to yourself the next time somebody talks about the realest thing for them.