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RE: That's right! I'm gonna be a daddy!

in #announcement7 years ago

It sort of depends on who you are in real life. What you're naturally good at, what you believe, and how you relate to your wife.

But I think the most important thing is remembering that you're probably good enough. Parenting is going to be no-shit hard sometimes. Maybe it'll be going without sleep, or dealing with colic, or letting the daily stress and exhaustion interfere with your love-life, or dealing with it when your kid bites another at day-care, losing your temper and yelling when you shouldn't. You'll make mistakes and you'll lay awake at night beating yourself up about them. There's a lot of pressure to be perfect. When that happens, remember how old we are as a people and that we have things better than anyone ever has before and even as bad as our ancestors had it -- they made it! Their kids turned out mostly OK. Yours will too. Those screw-ups that you make, they're a great opportunity to learn to do better, but they're not going to be the end of the world. Take each one as an opportunity.

Also, even for sensitive modern guys, it's sometimes easy to slip into letting your woman do more than her fair share. Keep your eyes out for that. Make sure you're stepping up. And have conversations with her about it. My wife does more school-related parenting and I do more housework. That works for us, but wouldn't for everyone. Whatever it is, do it with intent and mutual buy-in. A near-term example: your wife will hopefully be nursing the baby, you can't. But you can be the one to put Baby back to sleep after it feeds.

And remember to have fun! Being a dad is an amazing, transformative experience.

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Thanks for the tips. We stress way too much on being perfect indeed.

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