First: This was a really well written and interesting article! It's amazing to see this situation from two completely different angles.

Second: I think the "unmanly asian man" is more a problem of representation then actual "real asian men".
If you look at popular entertainment like games, pop idols, anime there is a strong focus on "youth" in japanese media for any gender.
Now if you look at the latest western Blockbusters like Red Dead Redemption 2 or Aquaman or whatever: the protagonists are somewhere past 35. The mature Ex-Cop/Marine/Father is a staple of western action cinema/games.
You can, however find quite a few muscular buff guys as secondary characters in anime/manga/games, sooo tl;dr: I'm sure there are a huge diversity of people including manly men, we just don't get to see them, because of "beauty ideal bias" (the classic beauty ideal of historical chinese emperors proves my point). :-)