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RE: Copy Clinic - Would You Trust this Corporation?
I'm hearing the blue cloud lady voice in my head as I'm reading the words :)
Look at ways to simplify your wording. We critical thinkers try to be very precise, to avoid misinterpretation. To your target market that can make us sound like politicians, who they intrinsically distrust. Ironic I know.
'George ought to help' had very simple wording and great penetration.
I agree. I'll look for ways to make the language (even) simpler.