people just kind of stop trying or putting effort into their SO

This is so true. Even when dating, people give up on certain things. One thing I've heard multiple guy friends say is "I don't work out once I'm in a relationship. I already have someone, why do I need to be super fit anymore?" This angers me.

There's many reasons someone likes you and maybe eventually loves you and the way you look definitely plays a big role in the first stage: liking someone. It is true that beauty on the inside matters immensely but outside beauty - the physical beauty - no matter how much we deny it, is very important as well!

So, I don't like the idea of my Boyfriend or my Husband giving up on looking physically good once in a relationship. What if this giving up turns into giving up on emotional attractiveness and/or intellectual attractiveness as well? It IS a possibility right?

When you said:

We wanted a situation where if we needed to walk away because it wasn't working then we could... and both knowing that made sure we put the effort in.

it made sense to me why some people don't want to get married. I like how you explained that so simply. I'm loving this conversation!