The fabulous world of Erotica writing

I am a writer. Or trying to be one. I published one novel, two stage plays and one book of poetry. They were read and accepted well, as much as they could be accepted in my small country. Since I have another unpublished manuscript, and few other synopses for other books, I tried to find a publisher. I wrote as many query letters as I could, explaining what is my book about and why should they publish it.

Basically, nobody accepted. Most of them liked what they had read but they wrote me how they do not publish science fiction and asked me to send them something else. Some of them asked me for money to publish, without even offering me a share of profit. And one of those publishers openly told me that they don’t publish living writers.

After giving some thought to it, faced with to Be or not to Be dilemma, to die or not to be published, I decided that it would be best for me to keep living. So, I gave up writing. It seemed pointless to write another books when nobody wants to publish them. I understand those publishers. There is a small market for SF in my language so they don’t have any commercial reason to publish new books, yet alone from a young writer. My first novel did get some reward for that year, but then again, without big competition that was an easy win.

Then somehow, months after that I remembered Amazon Kindle and other online E-book publishers. There is a big competition there, many great writers, but also that is a huge market. I thought that there is always a room for new writers so I was hoping I might have a chance there.

The only problem was that I couldn’t afford to pay good translators and editors. So I was just browsing the net, reading as much as I could about that. And there is a lot to read about writing Erotica.

After I read as much as my brain could take, I learned at least two good things. First, of course, sex sells. Always have, always will. E-books market is no different than any other. And second, more importantly, I learned that you don’t necessarily have to have an excellent knowledge of English grammar. I mean, you don’t write a new Great American Novel, so most Erotica readers don’t really care if you make a mistake or two, as long as you write interesting stuff.

And then it hit me – I could write a few Erotica books, and use the money made on them, to finance good translators and editors for my ‘’real’’ books. I thought it should be an easy task. After all, I published my first novel only because of Erotica and one gorgeous blonde Playboy playmate. Maybe I will write more on that story some other time.

But after I started writing, I saw it was not as easy as I thought. It is one thing to learn English in your school, or in the streets of some foreign city. But you don’t get to learn Erotica language from your high school English teacher. I had to learn many new words, slang and synonyms, new names for body parts, feelings and actions. When he did that, did he really did what I thought he did, or something else? Did she want to show him this or that? What is thigh and what are thighs? What are the synonyms for private parts, and what is their proper usage?

Obviously, I also started reading Erotica books. And I saw that people really do make some grammar mistakes, but it didn’t seem that any of the readers cared. I was looking to find how they are using the words that I needed, and I saw that apparently, there are no rules. It all depends on a writer.

Then luckily (as I thought) I found one great site for what I needed – Fiverr. So I thought, great, that is a solution for me. I started writing Erotica and as it turned out, I really enjoyed doing that. I wrote three Erotica novels and I found two different proofreaders on Fiverr, to check them before publishing. While they were working, I wrote several other synopses and started to write another book. I chose the female pen name after I learned that most writers do the same. I was satisfied with my choice - that name was clearly stating that it was a fake pen name and that the writer is not a native English.

I wasn’t expecting the proofreaders to do a miracle, but after they finished, I asked them but one simple question – ‘’Is it good enough not to be recognized that it is written by a non-native English writer?’’. They both said that it is a good English. One was smiling, and the other was almost offended by that question. They both did have a good five-star ratings on Fiverr, so I believed them. I published those books, one after another.

I didn’t get any response after the first one. Nor after second. It seemed strange because both proofreaders and the people who made covers wrote me how they liked what they had read. Then I learned that it is hard to get a review for erotica books, because many readers are ashamed to post them. So, before publishing the third one I wrote a dozen emails to some erotica bloggers, asking them to read my new book during the free promotional period and if possible, to write a review.

After publishing the new book I was anxiously waiting. I think I was refreshing Amazon book page every 15 minutes. The book reached 19th place in a free Amazon Erotica books. I thought it was a great result.

And then the first review came. One of the lady bloggers whom I asked to read the book gave it a one star. She said it was a bad experience for her because it was written in terrible English, so she had to quit reading. (By the way, that was written in this same English that you read now, minus proofreading. Is it really that bad?) So, what could I do? I politely wrote her an email, thanking her for an honest opinion. Next reviewer was little more subtle. She gave it three stars. Agreeing that it was not good English, she said that after she got used to it, she found the story very interesting. But still, three stars and a bad English.

Obviously, after promotional period and those two bad reviews, the sales stopped. Amazon threw them in their dark dungeons for books (they do that with all the books that doesn’t make sales) and they can’t be seen in a suggestion box anymore.

Now I realized, someone might think that I am blaming or complaining about Fiverr. I'm really not. I still think it is a great site. But, you get what you paid for. There are very good editors there, but they are expensive. There are also great editors on other sites, but also, more expensive.