Travelman's first twenty four hours in Bangkok: The good, the bad, and the lady man (part 2.2)

By seven am the city was already bustling with bumper to bumper traffic. Buses, motorbikes, cars, and Tuk tuks buzzed down the street, pedestrians dodged the traffic that doesn't think of stopping at crosswalks, and street vendors sold breakfast foods to locals who know where the good stuff is.

I went to cross a street and a Thai gentleman behind me called out to me to watch out because a car was turning. He was small, thin, and looked to be about fifty. He asked me where I was visiting from. I told him Ohio, he said he was a teacher at the school across the street. He pointed over to it. He seemed proud of it. He taught history. He told me he wasn't teaching today because it was a Buddhist holiday. He asked me what I was doing that day. I told him I was going to the mall. He told me it wasn't open until 3 because of the holiday. He wanted to give me directions and advice and write it down. He invited me to sit on a raised concrete ledge in front of a fence.

He proceeded to write down a lot of notes, telling me there was a temple, and today it was free because of the holiday. Golly, he was nice. Everyone in Thailand was so nice so far!

He told me which tuk tuks to use and what a fair price was, he wrote that down as well. The price of 40 Baht for the day was less than half what I paid the previous day. Many of his notes seemed random. As we talked, a tuk tuk came around the corner, he pointed at it because it was one of the good government licensed ones. The tuk tuk driver saw him gesture and pulled over. They're very aggressive, so it seemed par for the course. Yet, he was the only one sitting in this area.

The gentleman gave me more advice as we sat. I pulled out my phone and asked if I could take a photo of the two of us. He smiled and said not on the holiday. I felt a bit rude for asking. He offered to take me to the driver and tell him to take me to the temple and the mall. He told me on the holiday they gave special prices to go to multiple places. His English wasn't great and he talked enthusiastically so it was difficult to keep up. I just appreciated his kindness.

Here are his notes:

The driver and I agreed that I would go. As soon as we pulled away, my bullshit detector went off, somewhat delayed. I had forgotten to confirm the price with him directly, yet we took off into the street. He turned and told me something about taking me to good temples until two when he'd drop me off at the mall as though reviewing the deal. I can't remember if he said the price, I don't think he did. I'd paid the previous tuk tuk in advance. It made me nervous.

At this time I remembered having read in my research about tuk tuk scams wherein you were to be weary of locals being extra friendly, and of tuk tuk scams wherein they say they're taking you to temples and attractions, but instead they stop at random shops and restaurants that put you in high pressure sell situations. Yet, I told myself not to overreact and give it a chance. I was only 95% sure I was getting scammed.

Here's 8 seconds of us on the trip. We're stopped in traffic and motorbikes are weaving in front of us...

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As we drove to god knows where to see a fifty foot Buddha, I thought about the nice history teacher not wanting his picture taken. I was convinced I was being scammed and the 40 THB price was going to change. Five minutes later we pulled into an alley. The driver happily told me that the temple and Buddha were down the alley and that he would wait for forty minutes until I was done taking pictures. He seemed very nice and he took me where he said he’d take me, maybe I was over reacting. Now, I was only 90% sure I was being scammed. I said alright and went to see the Buddha, the head of which I could see towering above the fences and buildings of the alley.

I followed the English signs to the open air temple. There were only two women inside the courtyard of the Statue. I found this odd for a Buddhist holiday. Especially, based on the way the history teacher was describing what a special day it was.

I walked around the labyrinth like alley ways, exploring the area. It was an enclosed block, it appeared the only way out was the drive where the tuk tuk was waiting. Now, I was 98% sure I was being conned and needed to get away but I didn't want a confrontation. I passed a coffee shop in an alley. A little boy who looked very bored lounged on a chair out front. He played with his phone. I walked inside and asked the gentleman behind the counter if I could ask him a question. Luckily, he spoke fluent English.

I asked, "Um, hey, so, is today a Buddhist holiday?"

His face changed and he said. "No. ...But don't tell anyone I told you."

Yep. I was 100% sure I was being scammed. They brought their marks here all the time and the coffee shop guy didn't want them coming after him for revealing their secret.

I decided to find another way out. I started walking around the maze of Alley ways looking for a way out. I felt like Jason Bourne escaping from assassins, but without the stress of imminent death, or even of anyone chasing me. I merely had the mild anxiety caused by the possibility of an awkward conversation. By the way, forty THB is Just over a dollar, but I didn't want to be around the con man no matter the price.

I zig zagged down alleys, past food stands setting up for the day, an old woman burning some kind of flower craft under the shade of her tent, a coop of live animals in dome cages behind a tarp waiting to be slaughtered and grilled, trash cans, motorcycles and cats, and back doors, second level apartments and rickety balconies. I wasn't finding an opening to the street. I started thinking of ways to possibly sneak past the driver (maybe I could create a diversion, like a make-shift flash bomb, that’s what Jason Bourne would do). After two dead ends I saw a busy street about fifty feet down a narrow alley (no need for a Bourne bomb). I walked to the street.

I was actually excited afterward. I marveled at how the con men worked me, and I was patting myself on the back for having figured it out, even if it was after I'd gotten on the tuk tuk. But I didn't get took by the tuk tuk.

I took off my hat, like a spy changing his disguise and disappearing into a crowd. I was free from the scammer, but I was lost, still had no map or GPS, and I had to pee really bad, but there was more good to come and talk of lady men... All in Part 3.