Travelman's first 24 hours in Bangkok: the good, the bad, and the lady man (part 3, last part)

So there I was, having just escaped a con man's scam, lost again in Bangkok, not knowing which way to turn, and I had to pee pretty bad. The name's Travel... Travelman. Yeah, it's not everyone that lives a life of such adventure. I guess it's left to a select few, the adventurous, the brave, the socially awkward who fall into situations and then run away, slipping out a back alley way. I walked for about ten minutes. There, on the left, a McDonald's, home away from home. They'd have a bathroom, and internet so I could figure out where the hell I was.

I had to purchase something to get the internet code. The young McDonald's employee helped me get online. You can't just log onto Wifi, you have to type your name and email, and your passport number, then you get a user name and password for the day. I didn't trust the passport number thing so I make one up and enter a fake name. It freaks me out giving that info.

The address of the McDonald's on the receipt wasn't complete, it only had a street name. It didn't come up on google maps. I tried to ask the young employee where I was. She spoke the best English in the Mickey D's, and her English was only slightly better than my Thai. She tried to enter the address, it didn't come up. She smiled apologetically at me. I was taking so much of her time. I still had to go to the bathroom. Many establishments I've encountered don't have their own toilet (they say toilet here and at Heathrow airport. It's so much better than the American terms restroom and bathroom which make no sense.) Many of the toilets are separate, within the strip mall, like a mall in America.

I wanted to figure out where I was before I walked outside. The manager and the young girl both tried to help me. They tried to tell me which bus to take to the mall, but they really didn't know. I asked to take their photo because they gave me so much of their time. They were surprised at first. I remembered Allister telling me that compliments go a long way, and criticism goes even further in the wrong direction. I told them they were "So nice.' Their faces lit up and they nodded indicating they were ready for a photo.

I spotted a very American looking man at a table. Hopefully he spoke English. I approached and asked if he spoke English. He said yes and was clearly American. He told me what bus to take, where to get it, and drew me a diagram of the intersection where I'd get off the bus.

I went to the restroom, I mean, toilet, and then walked the 500 feet to the bus stop. I was worried that I needed correct change and I didn't know how much the bus fare would cost. I tried to ask an old man, who was friendly enough, but spoke zero English. I held out change trying to mime what I was asking, motioning like I was counting it then handing it over to an imaginary bus driver. He kept waving it off like I was offering it to him for helping me. He finally got the idea, yet still couldn't give me a good answer, just enough of an answer to end the interaction. I sat on the bench waiting for the number 16. I took my ipad from my bag and looked at the google map that was still on my web browser. I tried to discern where I was.

An old man next to me asked me where I was going. His English was decent enough to communicate. He told me he was also taking the 16 and that I had the right bus in mind. He asked where I was from and he told me to say hello to my president. He made some comments about Trump that were either sarcastic or serious, I couldn't tell. My travel research had warned me not to talk politics, so I only nodded at first. Finally, I said I wanted the other candidate, and I told him I'd been warned not to talk politics. He laughed.

A bus pulled up, it didn't say number 16, but he said it was our bus and so I boarded it with him. After it started moving he said we had to get back off because he realized he had us get on the wrong bus. "My eyes, not working right. I don't know how I saw wrong number."

We got off at the next stop. In moments, the number 16 arrived. We boarded. We payed the attendant. In Thailand and attendant walks around the bus collecting fares. She carries a wooden tube that flips open and holds the money inside.

My bus companion was seventy years old, he worked as a concierge at the Hilton for twenty years, he was also a musician. His name was Sampon and he liked the Beatles and Iron Butterfly. We both hummed the hook to En La Godda Da Vida. I showed him my Beatles Revolver on my ITunes.

Here he is...

He told me about an area with great jazz clubs and that if I put on a nice shirt and slacks, the women would be all over a nice looking young man like me... "but beware of the lady man." He pointed at his Adam's apple, "look for this." He said nodding and smiling. I told him I was aware of that particular danger, pointing at my own Adam's apple.

I asked him if he knew of the band The Kinks. He said no. I asked if he knew the song Lola. He said No. I tried to sing the chorus. L-o-l-a Lola. Nope. I explained that the song was about a young man being deceived by a "lady man." He nodded. It was one of those conversation points that flooded the conversation with information like gas flooding an engine. I looked out the window.

So, I'm sorry to whoever was excited to hear about a travelman misadventure with a lady man. Alas, it was only a funny, and slightly awkward conversation with Sampon warning me about the lady men. ...But there's still time, I'm still in Bangkok!

Sampon gave me his phone number to call him if I needed anything. It's now the next day, I'm heading to the southern Islands of Thailand tonight on a sleeper bus. I don't foresee calling him but it was a nice gesture. My stop arrived, we said goodbye and I went to the mall to buy my phone.

On my walk home (the hostel) I had a new phone and GPS. I took some pictures on my walk, I stumbled upon a temple complex as well.

Here's a pic of another giant portrait honoring the Royal family. It's hanging above the escalators in the MBK mall.

This is the Blade Runneresque Skyway outside the mall. It's what I rode from the airport.

Craftsmen pounding out metal pots.

I went to bed early again, exhausted from the day and still jet lagged. I made it to 900pm. I woke up at 430 am again.