The Empathy Game.

In this political climate, it seems as though people are more divided by the very differences we were told most of our lives that we shouldn't judge the value of others on. Even those of us that don't really care for politics have almost been forced into taking a position of some sort, simply due to the fact that everything is being politicized to promote a very specific ideology. Growing up we were told not to judge others by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. Social media and the so-called "outrage" culture have allowed for people to more easily monetize victimhood and use it as a way to gain social clout. The bar for what constitutes being a victim has dropped substantially, as everyone desires their "#metoo" moment and the waves of blind support that come with it.

It's natural to seek the support of others when you feel you are hurting, as emotional support is necessary during the healing process, but social media has created an environment in which people can make claims publicly to the masses with no evidence, and still get praised as brave over the most innocuous of statements. However, there is a difference between meaningful emotional support given by one who cares for you or is professionally equipped to deal with your problems vs. random strangers on the net propping you up as a hero for sharing a personal issue most of us have probably dealt with in some capacity.

The ability to empathize with others is important, but I almost cringe at the term "empathy" these days due to the way I have seen the word used as a method of manipulation to guilt people into making them feel as though they are uncaring for simply questioning ideas and situations that are deserving of scrutiny. You don't blindly believe that someone who has provided no evidence was a victim of "harassment" or a "hate crime"? You must be a bigot that lacks all empathy for so-called "marginalized" people! Meanwhile, these very same types of people are the first to tell you that you cannot experience hardships because of an immutable aspect of your birth and the inherent "privilege" that comes with it. So much for empathy, huh?

If you want empathy for your plight, you must be willing to give it. If you assume people have it easier just by extension of their existence when you know nothing about them beyond the superficial, you're part of the problem. Understanding works both ways, and if you are unwilling to acknowledge that you're not the only one with problems in life, don't be surprised when those people don't care about yours. You can't demand understanding when you have none to offer. When you turn life into the Oppression Olympics™ you are just creating more division where people aren't measured by their character, but by the immutable aspects of our being that don't determine our true value. We're only as good as our actions.

Blame is easy, responsibility is hard. It is tough to acknowledge our personal failings and easier to find a scapegoat, but that won't help the quality of your life, as you'll come to find that more often than not, you're on your own. Truly supportive people are difficult to come by, and they are often easily taken advantage of by those who are only out for themselves. We've all been angry at our circumstances, and sometimes it's a struggle each day not to fall into that trap. Being openly vulnerable often leads to rejection, as people wish to create a world of pseudo-positivity to distract themselves from their own demons. When they see sadness and hardship, it reminds them that life is not always perfect. This is the detriment of a "safe space"; it creates a bubble in which one doesn't know how to handle real problems when faced with them.

I don't always enjoy my life, sometimes I downright hate it, but at the same time I'm grateful that I was able to develop a thicker skin as a result. Adversity is inevitable in this world, you can only hide for so long. I don't pretend to have all the answers, and in many ways, I'm still searching for my own. However, being there for people that are in need is one of the most important things you can do, as a little really can go a long way. People are disappointing sometimes, but letting the hurt others have inflicted on you dictate the way you operate in the future gives them a power they don't deserve. Use your experience as a reference, but don't let it control you.

People love to project a perfect image of themselves, but there's nothing interesting about perfection. It's an illusion that social media has made a lot easier to create, and becoming more self-absorbed helps no one, including yourself. Of course our personal problems are more important than someone else's, but if you're completely unwilling to care for or help someone else, there isn't going to be anyone there when you need it most. Don't expect that which you're not willing to give. Don't hold others to a standard that you yourself are not willing to meet. Be the person you wish others would be for you.

If you truly care for people as much as you say you do, stop using it as a weapon of superiority and a way to put down the very people you claim are doing the same to you. If people are to be treated as "equals" then you do not get special treatment for your identity labels.