OF SEX AND SENILITY
And that female poet on the cover, with her face all smooch and her eyes all smooch and her lips all smooch – wait a minute, what kind of dumb ass description is that? all smooch, like a fucking retard, no wonder she says I suck as a writer, be like that poet, she says, with her face all – with her face all – why am I not taking this seriously? I act stupid sometimes, well she says it’s okay to act stupid sometimes, was it not yesterday she said it again, handing me the magazine and saying: you know it’s okay to catch yourself, sometimes, shoplifting on the aisle of stupidity, just don’t be stupid enough to pay for it – I can’t believe I just did her voice in my head, perfectly too; what a perfect head I have, stupid and perfect, and perfectly stupid, and what a load of bullshit that is: the aisle of stupidity, but her eyes were so smooch, that cover-girl, and her lips was so smooch oh why am I not considering this seriously? but come to think of it I do consider it seriously I just don’t consider it serious, well remember to tell that to her when she comes, what was I saying about the female poet with her face all smooch? O to lie with her for just a minute, o just a minute, well it’s not like I’d last longer than a minute anyway, but o to lie with her for just a minute, and why would they put such a picture on the cover of such a journal? these journals sure are getting smooch nowadays, the problem of sex, bullshit, what’s the problem of sex got to do with a senile old man? and how am I to learn to improve my use of imagery when I can’t even stop looking at her lips all smooch long enough to open the damn magazine? but you must read the magazine, she says, it’ll help your description, how else is one to supposed to describe those lips all smooch? and what is that noise under the door? The chair she sat on like a burnished throne – a burnished throne! What an image! And what’s that noise now? Great she’s back, now she’d want to know what I’ve learnt from the magazine, I better greet her first, steer the conversation,
—Hello dear
—Hey dad, how are you
—Splendid, you?
—I’m fine dad, did you read the magazine I sent you?
Shit!
—Yeah, yeah, of course, of course, some, uh, some vivid imagery on there, real helpful.
—Yeah, whatever, forget about the imagery, dad, I’m talking about the image, how’d I look?
—What?
—My picture on the cover, how’d I look?
Shit! Shit!
—You, um, you, on the cover, um, all smooch darling, you looked all smooch.