You have a great amount of detail worked into your story which adds a nice depth behind the characters that you created. I always enjoy good banter in a story and personally love the name, "Moira" as it is such a throwback Irish name that you just don't hear anymore.

The story you are writing really flows and if you wrote a full novel in the same way i could see it doing very well. I will have to go back through the first chapter now to see where we begin.