The Best Quotes by Woody Allen

in #writing8 years ago

Today I decide to post mu favorite quotes by Woody Allen! I think he is a great film maker and a great screenwriter! Enjoy with me! 

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1. To you, I’m an atheist. To God, I’m the loyal opposition

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2. A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.

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3. You can’t control life. It doesn’t wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.

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4. If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.

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5. I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That’s the two categories. The horrible are like, I don’t know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don’t know how they get through life. It’s amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you’re miserable, because that’s very lucky, to be miserable.

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6. I have no idea what I am doing. But incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.

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7. If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

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8. There’s an old joke – um… two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of ’em says, ‘Boy, the food at this place is really terrible.’ The other one says, ‘Yeah, I know; and such small portions.’ Well, that’s essentially how I feel about life.

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9. The only thing standing between greatness and me is me.

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10. I can’t enjoy anything unless everybody is. If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a crimp in my evening.

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