Never joke about road head!

I met this girl at a natural food store in line waiting to check out. It was late morning and I just pulled into Sebastopol, CA after driving through the night from Flagstaff, AZ and only slept about two hours parked in a gas station somewhere along the 5 freeway. She asked what I was doing in town and I explained that I came west for a party/fundraiser for my friend that cancer.

"Is her name Maddie?" She asked.

"Yeah, why you know her?" I asked.

She rattled off numerous names of dear friends that I hadn't seen since I moved 750 miles away. She said she was going too. She was beautiful and seemed kind.

"Cool. I will see you there then" I said and walked out, vaguely deciphering that she wanted to leave with me right then.

It was something in her eyes, a longing, or a hustle and I couldn't tell which, but at that point didn't care. I was going to see an old friend and spend the day with him. He happened to be one of the people she said she knew but I kept that to myself. I wanted some time just he and I as it had been too long and he is the funniest person I've ever known. I'm glad too, as we shared some quality time, played with his dog, saw his new abode, and a bunch of his works in progress. He is a genius, a musician, a ridiculously talented jewelry maker, and I sometimes wonder if he is one of the 'Others', you know, a being from somewhere else that some believe came to earth to seed our species. But that is another story. So we caught up and then went to town to meet up with some other friends to have a few beers over dinner then walk to the event, a mix of music and art etc. all to raise money for our beloved Mae whose medical bills where growing astronomically. As you grow older, and friends start having kids, or dying you get to know how short life is and how quickly it can be taken. I totally forgot about meeting the girl at the store, so I didn't even ask if any of them knew her.

There were many people in town from elsewhere and most were staying at Maddie's house, so I made other arrangements. The night was amazing, full of reunions and crazy back-in-the-day stories, dancing, reminiscing and it raised several thousand dollars for our friend. I don't even recall seeing the girl from the grocery store. After the party, we were all walking from the venue to Maddie's place a few blocks away to keep the festivities going and as we approached her place the girl appeared out of nowhere and grabbed my hand. I was caught off guard a little not really knowing her, but I was overjoyed to see so many people I love and don't get to see that much anymore. But now here we are hand in hand, following the group of merry pranksters, laughing all the way. She soon let go of my hand and wandered off and several people in waves asked me if she was my girlfriend, how we met, and if she was going with us.

"No, I just met her today, I don't know what she is doing" I said, and had to repeat for everyone who asked.

It wasn't until the tenth time I was asked that I asked why. No one gave me an honest answer, but I could tell there was something that was being left unsaid.

So we get to Maddie's house and of course she followed us. Once we arrived the real party started, not so wild as our glory days, but intimate, just the core group, the kind of gathering where everywhere you look you feel lucky to be there. Time passed so quickly, as it does in those precious moments. The girl from the store drank excessively, started acting the fool, then passed out. Not that I judge her on that. We all used to do it, and still do sometimes, but I stayed mostly sober as I was driving and wanted to remember every second, every smile. I began to realize why so many questions before, but no one ever mentioned her again. As the party winded down and people started leaving or settling in to slumber, Maddie approached me and said, "Tim, I had planned on you staying here, but I..."

My instinct told me where it was going so I volunteered I would get the passed out girl out of here as she was taking up the couch two other dearly loved people were to sleep on.

"No worries. It has been such a lovely night, my heart is full. Thank You. I'm staying at J's house, so I will go and take her home. I stopped drinking hours ago. She lives nearby right? Do you even know her?" I rambled on as I often do.

"Yeah, but we aren't close" Maddie said.

"O.K. I will man up and get her out of here. I love you. So good spending time and I'll see you tomorrow for the brunch" I said.

"I love you too, thank you so much. Goodnight and see you in the morning. I've missed you. So glad you came" Maddie said hugging me as her boyfriend began cleaning up.

I offered to help clean, but they said the best thing I could do was get the girl up and out. I was beginning to understand. But there was something still left unsaid. I tried to wake her up, first gently, then shaking her, a whisper that grew louder until she finally stirred.

"Let me sleep" was all she could manage to say.

I had to explain that she was sleeping where some family members were to sleep. Finally she got the hint through her drunken haze and rose up. I realized she probably wasn't welcome here in the first place, and I better not mention the picnic brunch we were having the next morning.

"Where are you staying?" she asked.

I told her I was going to sleep in an RV outside another friends house. "Can I stay with you?" she asked.

Hmmm. My instincts knew where this was going but being half gentleman, and half horny dude I thought about it as we walked back to my car.

"I don't think so. It's my friend's place. He has a family and doesn't know you. I don't want to impose. Besides, don't you live near here?" I asked, vaguely impressed with my self control given the long drought I had endured.

"Yeah, but I'm too drunk to drive, and I live too far to walk. Please? I will go tomorrow morning, I promise" as she started rubbing my crotch and giving me the Fuck Me look.

Normally I'm a serial monogamist but it had been a long time since I'd been laid. The last woman I was with I loved, and she hurt me pretty deeply, so her straight forward advances got the better of me.

"I can drive you home" I said, knowing she was determined by her silence and the look in her eye, and what we were both thinking; like I said, I was horny. We got in my car and continued the conversation.

"O.K." I explained, "But I have things to do tomorrow morning before heading south, and we have to be quiet" I said in my best camp counselor voice.

"No problem" she said as my dick was getting hard in her hands.

When I drove to my friends house my intuition reared its head and I took a roundabout way to get there as I figured I didn't want her to know where he lived. Good call on that one! So anyway, I opened the gate to his place, pulled my car in and quietly walked with her, sleeping bag and pillow in hand, and we climbed aboard the RV. I did my best to make a cozy spot. She immediately started taking off her clothes and asked if we could put on some music.

"No way. It's 3 am and my friend and his family are sleeping twenty feet away" I said in a stern voice usually reserved for a parent talking to their child.

She seemed bummed but rolled with it. She started taking my pants off. I have to admit, at this point I was thinking with my dick. She left my underwear on, but as we lay down she kept a firm grip on my cock and we start making out. I start feeling her lithe body up and down, playing sweetly with her ample breasts. Things were getting kind of heated, and she told me to fuck her as hard as I could. I did almost just shove myself inside her but my mind got the better of me, as I didn't have a condom. It's not always necessary, but by now I figured how she probably got to "know" so many of my friends and why I was getting questioned by so many, and in my experience (call me a prude if you want), someone that is that easy to bed, protection should be worn. Safety first and all. But I didn't want to insult her so I just went down on her. I love eating pussy anyway and made the most of my opportunity. She definitely didn't mind. After she came twice, I slowly tongued danced around her chest, breast and neck, making my way back to her lips. She purred and before I could kiss her she went down on me like a woman on a mission, and I must say, she gave amazing head. The kind of head where you know she either loves sucking dick, or she's done a lot of it, or both; not that it bothered me. I came relatively quickly as it had been so long, but I came hard.

"Damn!" she exclaimed.

I felt a little guilty not knowing if she was cool with swallowing.

"Sorry, should I have warned you? Its been a while for me, I uhhhh" I nervously tried to soothe her.

"No, I don't mind, but damn, that was a mouthful!" she said.

We both laughed nervously and I was thankful she didn't go in for the goodnight kiss. I'm not against kissing a woman after that, but not one I just met. Call me a jerk. I don't care. We snuggled surprisingly sweetly and she drifted off to sleep. She snored pretty loud for a lady, but after that blow job I had no trouble sleeping through it.

In the morning my friend J came in to wake me and say hello, and brought me a cup of coffee. We were slow to wake, but I could tell he was a little pissed at me for bringing someone "home" with me, but she didn't notice and he was a good old friend, and knew my situation, broken heart and all. He introduced himself to her and said he and the family were off to have a day together and just to let ourselves out. I told him I couldn't thank him enough and I would be in touch. She mustered a quiet thank you as he closed the RV door. I doubt he heard it, but whatever. It was awkward, but lucky his wife hadn't brought the coffee. She is sweet, and loves me, but I doubt would dig some random girl sleeping on their property.

"So what are you up to now?" she asked.

"I have some errands to run. And a friend to meet before I head south to my brothers' house" I said lying.

"Can I go with you?" she asked, relatively innocently.

"I'm sorry but no, its kind of personal and I need to do it alone. I can drive you to your car though. Why?" I asked pretending to care. I know. I can be and asshole.

"I have to admit, I lied to you last night. I didn't drive up here. My ex stole my car, and I rode the bus up here and I have no money to get home" she explained.

At this point I didn't know what to make of her. I just knew I couldn't take to her back to Maddie's house but I felt guilty about splooging so hard in her mouth, so I asked if there was anyway I could help. I knew whatever she said would probably be bullshit at this point so I offered her bus fare or to take her home later in the day if she was cool waiting in town for a few hours. She pretended to mull it over for a few minutes as I drove back into town, again taking the long way.

"What if I gave you road head right now? Could I go with you on your errands?" she asked point blank.

I must admit, she was so good at giving head I was tempted. Then I remembered, thinking again with my mind that I wasn't running errands, I was going to Maddie's and knew she wasn't welcome.

"Sorry. Really tempting offer but I need to do this alone. Its a long story" I said through a fake laugh, again lying.

"O.K. I will hang in town and wait for you and catch a ride south. Can you pick me up at so and so coffee joint? Just call me when you are on your way" she said while like a ninja rubbing my cock again.

I could tell what she was about to ask so I offered a few dollars for coffee and had her dial her number into my phone. I dropped her off in the parking lot of the grocery store where I met her and sped away, psyched on the head the night before, but glad to see her in the rear view mirror.

The picnic was like a dream. So many people I love, gathered together to celebrate and spend time with Maddie without the distractions of a scheduled event; a perfect day, intimate. A day I will never forget. But I'll get back to the tale at hand. As the morning slipped into Sunday afternoon, and people started going, I explained to Maddie that I was sorry about the drunk girl that followed me to her place. She just thanked me for getting her out of there. I could tell she was curious about what happened but she never asked and I was glad about that. I was kind of embarrassed but wouldn't have lied to her. It's often what is unsaid where truth exists, and I bet she knew. All she said about it was be careful with that girl as we all hugged and said our goodbyes. I really didn't want to leave, but it was that time.

I drove to the coffee shop, parked and called the girl. As quickly as she answered the phone, she was already jumping into my car.

"How did it go?" she asked pretending to care.

"Good. All done now. O.K., so where do you live, I'm headed to my brother's in San Jose" I muttered trying to get the train rolling.

"Hey, want to go to the beach?" she asked sheepishly.

"I need to get south, besides I don't want to get stuck in traffic" I said, in half truth as I was on no schedule and do love the beach.

"What if I give you road head when you drive me home? Can we go hang out at the beach for a while?" she asked without the slightest glimmer of shame.

I must admit, I was 35 years old, had never had road head, and she did suck a mean dick. Plus like I said, I love the beach. I rationalized that I live in the mountains now, miss the beach so what is a few hours anyway? I know, typical guy.

"Sure. Let's do it" I said as if road head wasn't on my mind immediately and made the right turn to the west.

"You sure are a wild one" I said, trying to be kind of gentlemanly and continued, "you don't have to... but..." I trailed off.

She started rubbing my cock over my pants as we drove over the hills to the sea, and she played DJ. The drive was short but enjoyable, I liked her music selection and her hand on my dick felt good. While I hadn't been to this beach before, it really was a beautiful clear day, which is rare for this region of coastline. After parking we walked down the winding sandy cliff and found that we were completely alone. We noticed some dunes down the stretch of beach and I suggested we make our way over there. She agreed and we walked hand in hand. We sat on a dune overlooking the sea, where the sand was soft and dropped off in all directions. We talked, mostly small talk, but got to know each other a little. Conversation faded and we sat in silence for a few moments, me breathing deep and enjoying the slight breeze. Then she suddenly let out a long diatribe about how she always meets the wrong guy, and the gist of it was she always gets treated like shit. I listened in earnest but not knowing her, wasn't about to feign falling for her, that's never been my style. I spoke honest, knowing it may screw up my chances for the road head, but believe it or not, I am a good guy. I wasn't sure how to begin, and didn't want to go too deep, but just started muttering about how it takes time to get to know someone, and how it's best to take it slow. Don't rush into things... We both laughed thinking about what lead us here today. She looked at me longingly and starting saying shit about why she never meets nice guys like me. I could tell at this point that while she may be a decent woman, she's obviously unstable to put it lightly, and there is a reason why all of my friends seemed worried I was with her.

After about an hour, afternoon was fading to early dusk so I suggested we get moving. As I stood and attempted to pull her up she protested and pulled me back down forcefully. "What if I blew you right here right now? Could we stay for a while longer" she asked bluntly.

"Look, you seem like a decent person. But if you are serious about wanting to get your shit together, maybe you should go home, chill out, or try and get your car back from your ex and do whatever it is you need to do. Don't worry about the road head, I'll just get you home" I said surprising myself a little.

"But I don't want this to end. You've been so nice to me and I know you are leaving town" she said, this time her rising and pulling me up. "Let's go into that grove of trees over there and chill for a little while longer. Please?" she pleaded, again now with my cock in her hand.

I'm not usually so easily manipulated, but I was free, on no schedule and knew my brother wouldn't be home until late anyway. Of course I let her lead me into the grove. There wasn't anyone around, the breeze was blowing slow and the weather was perfect. Living in a mountain town, you don't get days like this in spring I told myself, as if her mouth wrapped around me wasn't the only thing on my mind. As soon as we got there she got on her knees and within a moment my pants were around my ankles and she went at it. I oscillated between ecstatic fits, and feelings of guilt, a last remnant of the little Catholic boy in me. Ecstasy won the battle quick and I let my head tilt back and took it all in. The long drive, then yesterday lived like a dream. The celebration for Maddie and the many people I'm blessed to call my friend. The brunch and mimosas with those I love most, save my family. And now massaging the back of the head of this girl while she swallows me like a sword. I lasted longer than last night, but her skill was so incredible, I can't brag that I lasted long. I couldn't resist and had to ask her if she enjoyed sucking dick.

"Hell yeah I do. I'm good at it too aren't I?" she asked rhetorically and continued, "besides, my boyfriend never goes down on me and that's the only way I can cum with a man. And you made me feel amazing last night, so I want to please you."

I couldn't tell if it was a linguistic slip or if she just uttered the most honest thing she had said to me. I didn't really care at this point. After another few minutes she worked me up to orgasmic bliss and my whole being exploded in her mouth. She continued to massage every last drop of juice out of me, licked her lips and laughed. "We really should fuck sometime, I will blow your mind" she said, wiped her mouth and rose. As the haze of satiated pleasure faded and my wits returned a tinge of guilt settled in. No matter how I've grown and changed since childhood, I can never escape my early programming completely, as most reformed Catholics would attest. I pulled up my pants and as thoughts returned I had to ask, "Your boyfriend, or your ex?"

She suddenly got visibly shifty and suggested we take a walk and wandered out of the grove never responding. We walked down the beach to some rocky cliffs, climbed them, then returned to our first spot on the dunes as dusk was in full swing painting the sky. We hadn't spoken since my orgasm in the grove and sat in uncomfortable silence until she finally blurted out, "I'm not a bad person. I am just done with him. He treats me like shit, cheats on me, doesn't work, sleeps all day on my couch, and when I get home from work he takes off in my car and I never know when he will return. Shit, he hardly even fucks me anymore..." and started whimpering, then crying, and I honestly didn't know what to believe let alone what to do.

Selfishly I began an inner monologue of prayer, thanking my lucky stars I didn't have sex with her last night. I think she could read my thoughts because she looked up and said, "Why would you care anyway? You have so many good friends. I was watching you last night. All of those people love you. None of them give a shit about me. Sure a few of the dudes fuck me now and then and pretend to care, until they get what they want. That's all I am to them. You know I heard two guys I don't even know call me cum-dumpster last night. You have any idea how that made me feel? Why does nobody ever give a shit about me?" she asked, more sincerely than anything she had said since we met yesterday at the store.

I felt like a complete and utter asshole at this point. The joys of the orgasms were long gone. She continued crying but never averted her gaze and I could tell she was waiting for my reply. I had nothing but a sigh. I looked off across the sea, at the miraculous sunset that was unfolding all around us for inspiration. "I don't pretend to know you, your struggles, your life. I can't put myself in your shoes, but I must ask, are you always so aggressive with men that your first thought to get their attention is to promise road head? I mean, men are simple and often stupid and it will certainly work most of the time, but if you want someone to get to know you, care about you, why not just get a coffee and see where it goes. I know its cliche but..." I trailed off aware she was listening and taking in what I said but it was only making her cry harder.

We sat on the dune, the vastness of sea and sky all around us. The only sounds where the waves crashing in the distance, her sobs and a faint breeze. The colors faded to twilight. I smoked a cigarette thinking we were the loneliest two people in the world. I with a broken, beaten heart, not jaded but slow to trust. She being used only for sex for how long I didn't know, but it was obvious that she probably never knew the blessed curse of a kiss of one who truly loves you, or she did once and it ended horribly and scarred her for life. I put out my smoke and put the butt in my rear pocket. Everything ends, everything fades. It's the natural order of living. As her sobs subsided I thought to try humor, not sure how it would go and realizing that I didn't even remember her name.

"Do you drive stick?" I asked.

"Yeah, why?" she said, finally looking me in the eyes again.

"How about you drive and I'll give you road head on the way to your place" I said, regretting it immediately.

To my surprise she cracked a smile, wiped her tears away and stood up apologizing for her outburst and explained that she always ruins the moment, the ones that do last, if anything human lasts.

"I know, you need to go. I'm sorry. You can take me home now. Thank you for at least trying. That's more than anyone has done for me in a long time. You really are sweet and I bet you will say you will call me when you come back to town, and I'll never hear from you again. But I won't hold it against you. And I do keep my promises..." she said and winked, me not knowing what she meant.

I stood up, wrapped my arms around her and held her close as the stars began their evening parade. We walked back to my car, got in and she asked what song I was thinking of at that moment, somehow instinctively knowing I do that all the time; hear music in my head. "Wilco, Jesus etc." I said and put it on. We sat silently listening. As the song ended she said she liked it and wanted to hear it again so we did as I drove off. Then I let her DJ and focused on the winding darkening road. As we approached the highway I asked her how to get to her place, which exit was hers. She told me and I merged onto the south 101. I quickly realized what she meant before. My inner monologue was how I will probably never see her again after dropping her off, and her hand was back to its rightful place on my dick.

"Pull it out!" She demanded.

I started to say something along the lines of no, you have a boyfriend, remember what we talked about etc., but there was no resisting. She was determined to give me the road head and grabbed the wheel yelling that I better pull my cock out as we swerved into the next lane or she would make us crash. At this point I wasn't the least turned on, but believed she was just bat-shit crazy enough so I relented. Fortunately it was dark and there were few cars on the road. I lifted my hips up off the seat and pulled my pants down. My limp dick sat there scared and shriveled, nothing like the sword she swallowed earlier in the grove. She rubbed and rubbed, and even leaned over and started to try to suck start me but at this point, I just wanted to get her home safe and see her disappear in the rear-view mirror again.

"Come on. You're not even half mast. What, don't I turn you on? Can't you get it up?" she yelled hysterically.

I couldn't believe this shit was happening; any of it really. I drove all this way to spend time with my dear friends, had an amazing time, and now am going to die on the road at the hands of this crazy woman because I can't get it up. This could easily be an episode of that show 1,000 Ways to Die. I started yelling back at her, "Look, you've already sucked me off twice today, I'm good, just can't get it up right now. You are scaring the shit out of me!"

I began to apply the breaks, put on my blinker and switched into the right lane, and prepared to pull off into the shoulder hoping she wouldn't grab the wheel again or notice what I was doing, her, still trying to suck me hard. She rose from my cock, her head anyway, her grip still firm and stroking, looked at me laughing, and said, "I thought that would turn you on."

"What? By killing us?" I shouted back, not realizing she's probably been with some crazy dudes.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to taste you one more time before I never see you again" she said under her breath, and released my dick from her strangle hold.

I felt like a piece of shit, driving a crazy woman home with my pants down on the floorboard. Now I focused only on the road ahead, determined to drop her off and never see her again. The next twenty minutes seemed an eternity. When I approached her exit, she said "almost there!" innocently, as if she didn't almost kill us back there because I wouldn't, couldn't get it up.

As I pulled down the off ramp and merged with traffic, she asked if we could stop at the store I was about to pass so she could grab a six pack of beer. I didn't protest as she seemed to be as sane as a woman like her gets, and I didn't want her to freak out again. Almost there indeed I thought to myself. As I parked she ran in telling me to wait in the car, and to put my pants on. It didn't occur to me that she had no money until she was out of view. I sat there nervously, hoping she wasn't gonna steal beer, run out to my car, and make me and accomplice. I thought of what I would tell the police... "She's crazy, I was just driving her home... I had no idea what she was doing..." figuring it best to leave out the whole thing about the road head, and the two other blow jobs for that matter. I thought about just leaving her there. When suddenly she appeared, walking slowly out of the store, six pack in hand and a small brown bag, smiling all the way to my door and eyeing me up and down. She almost seemed a new woman, calmly gave me directions to her place and within minutes she pointed at a house and I pulled over in front, and before I began my attempt at a goodbye she said, "Just like I thought. He's not here. I just bought some condoms, wanna come in and fuck?"

I realized I'm a bit crazy too because for a second, I did think about it. Men really are stupid. Even the best of us. Crazy sex is usually the best sex. But I wanted to see my brother again before I died, and another few moments with this girl would surely kill me. I shook my head and said I had to be going, thinking to myself how glad I am that she was almost gone forever. She sat for a moment looking off into the distance again rubbing my crotch, which at this point was too shell-shocked to even wiggle and I guess she knew it.

"Big mistake. I would rock your world" she said as she finally let go of my cock, gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, looked into my eyes for a moment and got up and out of the car.

She closed the door, walked around the front to the driver side, set down the beer and bag of condoms in the road and asked for a cigarette. I handed her one, lit it for her as she leaned her face down to me. She really was a beautiful girl, I could see in the light of the flame, crazy as the sky is blue, but not a bad person. There was a moment of silence, and that's how I will always try to remember her, almost sweet, smoking, smiling.

"Two things you need to know about me. First, my name is Genie, and second, I never joke about road head. Maybe next time, if you call me. This pussy will melt your mind. Goodbye my prince" she said, blew me a kiss and slowly picked up her beer and condoms, and walked off towards the house.

I looked up, confirmed it was her walking away in my rear view mirror and sighed- relieved. I shook my head in complete disbelief of the last few hours, lit a cigarette and drove off. Once I got back on the freeway and on a straight part of the road, I whipped out my phone, pulled up her number and entered 'Crazy Genie' into my contacts. As I drove over the headlands and approached the Golden Gate Bridge, all of San Francisco shining like a beacon of sanity before me, I kept thinking about her. Should I have gone in and fucked her? I really am stupid for a moderately well educated intelligent man, and probably more than my share of crazy. As I crossed the bridge and entered the blurred chaos of lights, and traffic, I realized that maybe the world isn't so crazy. Maybe it's just me and Genie. No, I thought, life is crazy, but I want to live it- as long as I can. Live it until I die, whenever and however that happens, but not from road head. I laughed a lonesome laugh of self-awareness. When I pulled up to the first stop light I grabbed my phone and deleted Crazy Genie. I've never seen her since. I haven't even thought about her, until I decided to write this story.