Post Malone: Why His Best Song Never Was A Top Hit.

How I imagine Post Malone to be is just one of those unique, nice kids that ultimately wasn't scared of being himself. And in the end, he was able to express musically and become the rock-star of his childhood dreams. He is a living legend for those knowing that they too can become something one day; even when others say we "can't" or just "don't look the role".

When I feel the haters breathing down my back, I play Congradulations loudly in the car. A reminder of how it will feel one day in the future when I make it. When I do it, when I live up to the visions I see of myself in my dreams. Just like he did.

He also exposes himself a lot on his first album. This came out around a time when I was really struggling with adjusting to adulthood. I was trying to decide on who I was going to be -- I was trying to focus on a vision of what direction I was going to take. It was very scary. And often I felt paralyzed by fear, pain, addiction, and hopelessness.

Two songs of Posty's will always be forever embedded into the making of who I am. And I want to break down these lyrics line by line and expose the connection I felt when these words were sung. During this album, Post was so relatable to the kids -- the kids on the fringe, the junkies, the person who endlessly parties, the outsider, and just the cool guys and girls. The ones with very low conscienciousness, the rule breakers, the people you just wanted to be around at a party. His music sought out people who just wanted to live for a good time -- and frankly the good and bad of that. There is just something about his lyrics that captures the simple emotions of this group of young adults fighting for who they want to be.

Or at least, that's just the projection I throw onto his image, brand and fandom.

Some say that "oh he's just a Hip-Hop Rapper" -- you are wrong. Truly diving into his whole album (not just the hits), and especially focusing on the first one. These songs (Stoney) were written at a super impressionable time period. Some even before he was famous and it's this that shows a true element of who he was before he became world famous. It shows him and who he is as an ARTIST. At the core, Post Malone is a creative. He wanted to live through music to express himself.

Feeling Whitney was one of his best songs, ever. The emotion in that song? Gave me goosebumps the first time I heard it. And I heard him play it live in Salt Lake City. Many people haven't heard of it -- or at least the people I've polled. Yet, it is a remarkable song that I want to break down for you line by line in the two verses that really helped me through my path.

[Verse 1]
And I've been looking for someone to put up with my bullshit

Isn't that something we all want to some degree? Someone who doesn't want to change us? Someone who just is willing to put up with some of our unhealthy behaviors? This is definitely I thought I've felt, or a line I understood. I was just so low during some parts that I thanked the universe that my partner just let me fight through my own bullshit.

And to have someone who sees a side of you that no one sees, and still loves you unconditionally? That feeling is heaven. It's what this line expresses.

I can't even leave my bedroom so I keep pouring

If you've ever struggled with addiction this line hits home. It feels as if you couldn't leave, or do, or be anything anyways -- so you keep on medicating. The amount of time I spent in bed during my early 20s is pathetic. I hated leaving the house, I hated leaving my bedroom. You feel powerless.

soyoujustkeeppouring.
soyoujustkeepgoing.

Also, I must add for context, "pouring" or at least how I interpret it is sizzurp. I really couldn't confirm the slang term online, but in the culture that I hung around with for a bit -- the meaning was well understood.

Sizzurp is also known as "Purple drank" that is a recreational drug that was created by combining prescription-grade cough syrup with a soft drink and hard candy. The concoction originated in Houston, Texas, and is popular among those who belong to the hip hop subculture or reside in the southern United States.

And I ain't seen a light of day since,
well, that's not important
It's been long.

And it's again a feeling that you can't explain unless you've been trapped in a prison of your own house; when the windows are closed. When isolation feels safe and comforting. And you don't know how long it's been since you last saw the sun, or left your bedroom.

And I was feeling Whitney, me and my homies sip the Houston

So Whitney in this context means cocaine.

Let me explain-- in the deep, dark bottoms of addiction, an addict will refer to their drug of choice by a pet name. The drug starts to take on characteristics by the person using it, and the fondness creates a personalization of sorts. This is why the cocaine is named, "Whitney -- White-ney".

Even the set up to use become ritualistic -- and sometimes this will be half the thrill. Comparable to sex or foreplay; having a mistress -- because that's all you think about, even when you are in you "real" life aka your spouse. So he is "feeling whitney" -- he is using cocaine and expressing the emotions hidden inside that.

Okay so know we know that sizzurp had an outbreak in "Houston" -- it's where it got popular. And we do know that Posty lived near the Dallas area, as his dad worked for the Dallas Cowboys. How I put it together is that "Houston" is also a pet name for sizzurp. It's also quite clever in the arrangement of these pet names. It's obvious that he called his mistress, "Whitney Houston" as his DOC (drug of choice) has always been cocaine and sizzurp. This is all alleged -- I know nothing but picking apart this song? But it's how it reads to me.

Honestly, I believe the song is a real work of art. Deeply vulnerable, and showing a side of addiction that isn't just "party, party". It shows the ugly belly and it's beautiful.

It's all just a metaphor. And the purpose is all to exclaim the element of addiction that feels so common to those who have experienced it. A love affair with a drug, becoming best friends with the thing that's killing you.

And in this song, Post Malone bleeds a bit. He expresses his drug of choice, he expresses his pain, and his expresses a satisfaction of having this time period in his life. It's this beautiful tragedy. He is telling his story so vulnerably. It's a real snapshot of what the beauty and tragedy of it all is.

It's interesting how addiction has risen to the level of mainstream's ability to relate. I say this because in some ways, Post Malone's brand is very on point with this subgroup. And the amount of people at his concerts, that follow him, that love him -- shows the amount of people who relate, who understand this part of life that is suffering.

Cars and clothes, thought I was winning,
you knew I was losing

So this goes back to the person who just isn't putting up with his bullshit any longer. There just becomes a tipping point. Where the world just sees all these "good" things, and could never imagine what it really looked like up close. But someone did -- someone noticed the contradiction. And I think this applies to a vast amount of people.

When the world sees all these accomplishments, but fails to notice just how deeply you are struggling. Almost to a point where it seems false, and to have that one person notice. And really see past the bullshit and onto the pain will help you quit, as he emphasizes at the end of this line.

You told me to wake up
but my clock always stays on snooze

How many time have you been told to wake up, or maybe never heard the alarm clock? Now apply that in your own life. You keep hitting the snooze button in life. And where does that take you? No place but still in your room. Because my alarm clock ALWAYS stays on snooze -- that's the life in a nutshell. That is addiction/escapism in a nut shell.

And addiction doesn't have to be to drugs, these feelings are universal -- and can be applied to a number of different contexts. I just think truly addictions or fears keep your internal alarm clock on snooze. Creating a resistance to movement, to going forward. You just stay put. You snooze.

And I'm done

It's a point of exhaustion of being exhausted. What a good feeling. When someone see your pain, when you begin to wake up -- that's when you can quit. That's when you can be done.

[Verse 2]
And I've been looking for someone that I can buy my drugs from
It seems like every plug ran east to Utah, became Mormons

Utah is one of the biggest states in the treatment industry. It's somewhat tongue in cheek that they run away and become mormons. He's really saying, "all these people that I used to buy my drugs from are now leaving, going to Utah to go to rehab -- and becoming squares."

In this world, there is high turn over with dealers. I just think the way he phrased it is funny. It gets a big kick out of the crowd when he plays in Salt Lake. Because, no one in the crowd is an active, church going mormon. But everyone is somehow, someway connected to the church during some part of their life.

Drought comes around, feels like I have no one to depend on
Sober, ugh

To be sober because you can't find drugs. Drug dealers has dried up? So, sobriety is forced.

I had 80 beers on Tuesday night, I had nothing to do with t
put on a little Dwight and sang a happy tune
And lit a cigarette, stepped out the door, had an appearance
Drank more

"I had 80 beers on Tuesday night, and I had nothing to do with it" is the best line of the whole song. Because that is exactly what addiction feels like. One after another, after another -- and you cannot control it. You didn't do this to yourself, someone or something took over. You feel internally hijacked and out of control.

80 is also an absurd number, something that one person couldn't possibly do? And yet, it was done, somehow?

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