Jack- A Story of Addiction (Fin.)

Tuning in for the first time? Start from the beginning: https://steemit.com/writing/@jeffthebaker/jack-a-story-of-addiction

Bill took a deep breath and looked into the mirror. Through his blurry vision, he saw a failure- a loser- rather than the man he aspired to be. Bill wanted to be a businessman. He started off his life well enough- Bill was a good student. He attended UC Riverside and graduated with a business degree. After college, Bill married his wife and moved inland to the Rust Belt, where he took out a loan and purchased a steel mill. For a while, business was steady and life was good. Unfortunately, the economy took a turn for the worst and he had to fold the mill. The two moved back to California, and Bill started up a new venture, this time a restaurant. The restaurant, too, failed. Dismayed, Bill decided to take a break from ownership roles and took up an office job. Once Bill sunk into the nine to five grind, his career and life both sunk into stagnation. Bill stared into his eyes. Maybe this unemployment was a blessing in disguise. Maybe he could start up another business and turn everything around.

Bill wiped off his face and headed out of the bathroom. He grabbed a bottle of water, then made his way towards the pizza. Before he made it to the pizza, Bill passed by the booze. He stopped for a second and took one long, hard look and the selection before him. Bill took a deep breath and forced himself to move away, towards the pizza. He arrived at his destination and picked out a good slice. Bill approached the register and set down his water and pizza. The cashier asked if that was all. Bill nodded, and the cashier asked for $3.84.

Bill reached for his wallet and opened it up. Bill was forced to remember he didn’t have any money in his wallet because he gambled it all away because he was a massive pile of shit that couldn’t do anything right so he looked at the cashier and the cashier looked at the wallet and Bill lowered his head and walked away back to his truck and Bill sat and thought about how fucking useless he was.

And after sitting in his truck for what could have been an eternity he opened up the center console and pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniel’s that he had been saving for the lowest of lows and he took a big swig and he took a couple more and while he drank he thought about his past before everything went to shit and he thought about his wife and he thought about when they first met back in college at some college party and she came up and talked to him and they hit off so well and he knew he had just met the most beautiful, charming, amazing girl in the world and he thought about how he made it his mission to get closer to her and they became really close friends and then they became more than friends and he thought about all the passionate, lustful nights and he thought about how the lust they shared for each other transformed into love through a series of marvelous dates and adventures and he remembered being afraid that their love was too passionate and fierce and it would fizzle out but it never did and they stayed together all throughout college and their love continued to grow so he married her on the beach and for the longest period of time he had been so happy and she had been so happy and everything was wonderful.

Bill let out a faint, half-hearted smile that could only be seen in a fully resigned and defeated individual and he thought those days were over and he thought no matter what he did he would never be able to go back to those honeymoon years so Bill took a long drink from his bottle and started his truck and he didn’t know where to go but he started to drive and he had nowhere to go so he drove away from his apartment and he drove and he drank and he drank and he drove.

And as Bill was driving away from his apartment he was driving away from the city and there were less and less cars and the buildings were getting smaller and spread further from one another and he didn’t know where he was going or when he would stop or if he would stop he just kept driving away from the city away from others away from everything and eventually as he drove further into nowhere the buildings and cars ceased completely and Bill just drove alone on the road into the desert and then Bill took a moment to look up and there was nothing, just him, and in this moment Bill was content.

Bill adjusted his rear-view mirror and took a deep breath and focused on the sun setting behind him and he took in the hues of orange and purple and pink and Bill thought to himself it was the first beautiful thing he’s seen in ages and he looked around at the desert engulfing him and took another deep breath and appreciated the peaceful simplicity of the wilderness around him then he shifted his attention to the bottle between his knees and his Jack Daniel’s was almost empty so he looked back up and focused on the road and then he opened up his console once more.

Bill pulled out a bottle of sleeping pills and closed the console and held the bottle in his hand and took another deep breath and a long look at the bottle then he looked back at the sunset behind him and let out a smile and opened the bottle and held it up to his mouth and leaned his head back and took all the pills then he set the bottle down and picked up his whiskey and forced the pills down with what liquid he had left.

Bill rolled down the windows of his truck and felt the air on his face. He eased his foot further into the gas pedal. He took in the scenery, then pushed further into the gas until the pedal was to the floor. Bill let the empty bottle slide out of his hand and looked towards the infinite desert before him. Bill gently eased his hands off the wheel and slowly closed his eyes. Bill leaned his head back.

Darkness was now replacing the fading evening sunlight. Bill’s eyes stayed shut as the truck sped down the barren interstate for a while. The wind rushed over Bill’s face and tickled him between his brows. The poisons inside Bill filled him with happiness as the truck began to veer towards the side of the road. Eventually, the tires of Bill’s truck left the asphalt. The truck tumbled down off of the elevated road into the limitless desert that extended for an eternity all around Bill, a perfect quietness in which Bill could finally rest.

Bill awoke to a foreign bed, surrounded by white walls and strangers behind masks. He tried to sit up, but could only manage to move his head. He looked at his body before him, he was covered from head to toe in bandages and tape. He had a cast extending from his right foot up to his hip. There was a tube forced into his left arm, and another cast completely covering his right arm. Bill moved his mouth to speak but was unable to let out any words. One of the individuals, a tall man in owl-eyed glasses, stepped closer to him. Towering over Bill, he spoke from behind the mask, “Hey there, looks like you’re back with us. Good news is you pulled through, bad news is there’s going to be some issues we can’t fix.”

Bill noticed he still had control of his left arm, he tried to use it to prop himself up but one of the nurses stopped him, instructing him that it’s better to just lie down. Instead, Bill brought his hand up to his head and rubbed his brow.
The doctor continued, “Hey, your wife was here earlier. She had to go but she said to give this to you when you wake up,” He extended his arm towards Bill, a manilla envelope in hand.

Bill took the envelope. Through some mixture of struggle and success, he opened it up. He pulled out the paper and read the words across the top,

State of California

Notice of Divorce

Bill let the folder fall to his chest. Once more, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.