Jack- A Story of Addiction (Cont.)
Missed part one? Read here first: https://steemit.com/writing/@jeffthebaker/jack-a-story-of-addiction
Bill made his way into the driver’s seat and revved up the engine and he knew he left the house this morning for some reason or other but for the life of him could not remember what it was he was supposed to do so he figured he’d head back to the apartment even though he knew in the back of his mind he couldn’t go back and he didn’t want to go back because he knew his wife would be there and his wife would be mad but there was nowhere else to go with no money and no recollection of what he initially set out to do so he made his way back to the place he called home even though he didn’t think it was home anymore and he didn’t like to be there and he didn’t want to go back.
And on the way back to his apartment with his vision quite blurry and his hands quite unsteady, Bill thought about a few days before when he came home drunk like he was going to today and his wife wasn’t yelling like she normally did when Bill came home trashed she was crying this time and she told Bill she couldn’t that she couldn’t sit back and watch this alcohol consumed monster she once called the love of her life stumble on home every evening drunk as a skunk so Bill asked what she wanted which Bill deeply regretted because she took a deep breath and said she wanted a divorce and Bill didn’t know how to respond so he went to the bedroom and he pretended to sleep but how could he sleep with a wife who wants a divorce sobbing in the main room pretending to watch T.V when her mind was most certainly on other, more pressing matters.
And then Bill thought about six months ago when his life went to shit because his brother, his best friend, his ride or die throughout his whole shitty life got shot by some fucking punk thug robber and without his brother Bill didn’t know what to do and he was so overcome by sorrow he turned to alcohol and gambling and he’d always liked to gamble but he was never such a drinker but he could find no other way to ease his suffering besides some cool or warm glass or cup of liquid comfort between his hands so he started to drink and drink even though he knew it was destructive and even though he knew it was hurting his relationship because Bill hurt so much inside he had to accept that he had to hurt everything around him to ease the hurting within him even if it was only temporary and even if it was only a little he accepted the circumstances and did it anyways because he had to do it to keep it together.
Bill did this for three months and things started to fall apart and he realized it was happening but just tried to ignore it but after three months Bill lost his job because he was drinking before work and drinking after work and missing work and even drinking during work and it made him not work so he was fired and that was enough of a push to get Bill to change so he stopped drinking altogether and for almost a month he was sober and almost at a new job and almost back on his feet but the grief continued to hit him harder and harder and one night he decided to drink just a little and he drank till the morning and he drank in the morning and he drank that whole day and he didn’t get a job and he didn’t get back on his feet and up until now everything has not been okay everything has been very not okay and it’s his fault and he knew it but Bill didn’t know what to do.
Somehow, Bill had managed his way back to the apartment and he approached Apartment #0103, his apartment, and he reached for the door but before he turned the knob he pictured his wife inside and thought about what she’d say or what she’d do and maybe Bill could pretend to be sober and everything would be alright but maybe she’d know- of course she’d know because Bill was never sober and he didn’t want to face his sweetheart, the love of his life, who just days prior asked for a divorce for what was entirely Bill’s fault because Bill chose the bottle over everything else in his pathetic life so Bill had to come up with a plan to avoid such a confrontation so he let go of the knob and turned back for his truck.
Bill decided he would get in his truck and drive to a gas station and get pizza and water and sit and hydrate and eat so he wouldn’t be so drunk and by the time he got home the second time maybe he’d be sober and maybe if he came home sober his wife would see that he could come home sober and maybe it would all work out in the end.
So once again Bill was back on the road and his vision was still quite blurry and he was definitely swerving but it was fine because the gas station was just down the road and in just a little bit longer he’d be at the gas station and he’d get some water and pizza and he’d be able to come back home and everything would be alright.
Bill arrived at the gas station and stumbled on in and looked around until he saw the sign for the bathroom and he made his way into the bathroom and he stood in front of the mirror and turned on the faucet and ran his threads through the cool stream and bent his head down and splashed some onto his face.
Read the ending here: https://steemit.com/writing/@jeffthebaker/jack-a-story-of-addiction-fin