I Am Not A Joke; I Don't Understand The Joke

I am not a joke
I refuse to be reduced to a reaction held long enough to reveal a sense of laughter
I refuse to be reduced to a witty -statement-pun-
intended-wisdom-refunded post that appeals to your sense of humor
I refuse to indulge in the chill abuse of chill pills. No my lips will not part in order to acknowledge your ignorance.
I am not an understanding
I refuse to be broken down into little bits so you could put me between your narrow spaces of low self esteem.
I refuse to be pulled apart so you could see me for who I am.
I refuse to stretched into a grin so you could tell if I am funny or not.
I am not to be cultured.
I am not a source for you to feel intelligent
I swear I would understand your point of view if I didn't get grabbed in public
If my whole self was not reduced to a whistle or cat call
If my dignity did not mean knee length and turtle necks
If I didn't bleed my pain and hurt away every month awaiting the pain and hurt of the next month so I could let it go and await another
If I didn't have to take caution, be careful, hold myself
I would understand if I didn't know that you were biologically stronger, sometimes mentally smaller but very much away of your power.
I Would understand if you didn't have the weapon of a penis that you actually knew how to use.
A weapon capable of painfully entering to nerve wreckingly ensure that I am Insecure after
I would understand if my buttocks were not a form of attraction and if my breasts did not create a form of excitement
I would understand if I had a loaded gun whose bullets were semen
That had the capability to put a hole through a hole that already exists
I would understanding if at ten (10), iwas not already a first world problem: female, black, getting an education
I would understand if I didn’t have to monitor shadows to be sure the only person behind me was myself
I would understand my womb didn’t have expectations as soon as I came out of a womb
I would understand if your responsibilities were not my responsibilities to be responsible for
I would understand if I didn’t have to play with words to grab your attention
I would understand why I am funny but only if I’m male
Until then, I do not understand the joke