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RE: His Blood Red Sky.

in #writing7 years ago

A bit of constructivism. 💜

Half crazed laughter spilled from his mouth. He giggled without a care in the world, staring at the people kneeling before him. They were filled with fright, for the Warlock was indeed powerful in all rights.

(Try keeping it in one tense)

"Plea... Please, great one" The Village Head (capitalize, you've given this as his title) began in a broken voice "Forgive us! We didn't know what we were doing!" he plead desperately. The Warlock's left eye twitched as he glared at the multitude in front of him.

(Paragraph break from one voice to another)

"Fools! Did you think you could get rid of me so easily?" He stamped the rod in his right hand on the floor and thunder rumbled from the skies. "Did you think a mere sorcerer could kill me?"

(Indeed is repetative here, you just used it.) The villagers had conspired with a sorcerer who claimed to be able to end the Warlock's tyranical (context) reign on the village. The sorcerer had not only failed and been crucified, he had put the whole village in danger.

"Please!" The head pleaded again.

"Too late" the Warlock said and raised his rod. Lightening flew out the tip into the clouds turning the calm blue to a blood red sky.

Sounds like an interesting story, flesh it, give your charactors more depth.

You're off to a great start!

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Lol. Thanks a bunch @hickorymack. But it was actually a steemit contest in which we aren't supposed to exceed 199 words. Had to squeeze everything into it, you know. But thanks all the same.

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