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RE: Quitting Life: Finish the Story Competition Entry
I noticed the hint of the unexpected egg ration and, in a way, connected it with the yellow flame. Perhaps, what you could have done was to better link the two elements in a way that one was reminding the other. Still, it's a great reading, with a bit further polishing could be very engaging. I also loved the description of how the landscape changed during her trip our from the city. Well done @flyyingkiwi, as always!
Sorry for the late reply, been travelling. I’m sure you understand how difficult it was for me to write about something different from fashions shows slaughters and assassinations! I do need to work on linking and explaining my ideas more clearly.
Yes my friend, you've all my understanding heheh in fact it was difficoult for me too and most probably I would have blown up everything with a bomb like in gwilberiol's story.. just as a reaction 😂. I hope the trip was great.. if you want this week I took the ship's rudder back to a better known route .. On the linking, I think that's all about putting yourself in the reader's point of view.