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RE: LER. Finish the story contest entry
What a bloodbath! I loved how the suspense climaxed. You are a skilled writer, indeed. Elissa, next time aim to the head.
His composure disintegrated in an instant as he saw what she meant to do.
Can you explain me a bit more this passage?
I thought as I was writing this that maybe it was a little unclear. I meant that he saw that she was going to kill herself, then he realised he was going to be left alone with 'the one who knocks' ( Breaking Bad reference, don't know if you have watched that!) Appreciate the feedback
Brilliant. It's the way I thought but It misses.. probably one or two words more to clarify the sequence to the reader. As It is, this is very good but it could be an authentic stroke of genius with a bit more polishing. I'm glad you understood my aim in asking. I seldom do it, only when I'm engaged by the story. Heisenberg forever! 😁