Using memory rightly: This is how you should remember painful things

The memory. Advantage or disadvantage?

It depends on yourself. It depends on which side you are on. There is a side where are those who remember to let themselves be clothed by the mistakes or negative feelings from the past, most often obstructing their present and never letting go of the thread that continues dragging them to live a sick cycle . Because remembering like that, hurts. It makes you sick.

People who evoke memories and at the same time consciously invoke the whole range of black and poisonous feelings that they have already lived in the past. Why to live it twice? Or worse, live it every time you feel like remembering. People who go through life opening the doors to old winds that blow to get the worst of yourself. They never heal. They never advance. Always stuck in the same dark pit they build to periodically bitter their lives.

Going back and bringing the present the bad things is like being in paradise and never opening your eyes. Useless. That side of the world uses memory against them. They register the bad experiences or the most unpleasant experiences and cling to them, bringing them back whenever they can. How can you use something so beautiful in such an implausible and gray way? Ask them. And you should also ask them how can they "live" with so many of their own demons locked within theirselves.

But the other side is different. Those on the opposite side look behind and keep the doors and windows closed to those blasts of malicious winds. It works like this: they remember to realize how well they have done it after they have fallen. They remember to smile because what at that moment strangled us, no longer touches us. They remember to give thanks for having moved on. They remember the things that are worth putting in the present. They remember to fill theirselves with freshness, to draw a smile full of colorful memories.

I’m not implying that their minds are programmed only for sweet, beautiful, and satisfying things. They are people that allow themselves to remember those undesirable moments, without these really touching them. They convert pain, mistakes, bad experiences and stumbles, into motivation, positivism, strength, change and inspiration. It's not about looking back to stay there, but look back and use the situation as a marker that tells you where not to go again. What not to do again.

Memory is cruel as long as you allow it. Memory is wise as long as you are much bigger than your mistakes. What hurts you is not what can hurt you, but what you let hurt you. We should not go through life sabotaging our moments. The present barely exists. Between an instant and an instant we have already created another bit of past. Laughing at the shit life has thrown us is like having a spiritual orgasm. It’s evolving sentimentally. It’s maturing in the most beautiful way. Why not try it?

Which side you want to be?