The Captain of a US Battleship was heading into the docks. Upon sighting a light in the darkness and poor weather, he ordered his signal officer to issue the following message via morse: "Please bear to starboard, coming into dock."
The signal reported that the reply was: "Suggest you bear to starboard."
Send this growled the Captain: "I am a senior officer of the US Navy, bear to starboard."
Back came the reply: "Don't mind, suggest you bear to starboard immediately".
Damn this cheek: "This is a Battleship of the US Naval Fleet! Bear to starboard at once."
"This is a lighthouse. Your call."