Tonight

I'll choose myself
other than anything,
or even anyone else.
I'll shut down the world,
and be on my ownㅡ
contemplating about
this life of mine.
tonight,
I'll take off
my cape of braveryㅡ
I'll choose to be weak,
fragile and vulnerable.
I'll take off, as well,
this dress that I am wearing,
and let you see
all the scars
painted against my skin
caused by the battles
that I have fought onㅡ
be it the wars
that I had won
or had given up on,
let alone the battles
I have,
and still having,
between myself.
tonight,
I'll forget about everything
around me
and remind myself
that I should choose
to be me nowㅡ
it's time to be real now.
tonight,
I'll let you know
how soft myself wasㅡ
how did this little girl in me
hide in my very core
just to survive this life
that we are all in.
I'll let you hear her cry
that I had suppressed
through my loudest laughtersㅡ
her agonies and torments
that I had concealed
behind my comeliest smiles.
I'll let you see how her knees
will kneel down
for she had gone tired
of feigning it all.
I'll let you witness,
for the very first time,
her greatest downfallㅡ
crestfallenly heading down
the ground.
see, when all eyes are around,
I can't be this kind of a ladyㅡ
for I will be judged.
see, when I am outside,
society taught me
to feignㅡ
to pretendㅡ
that I am a strong one.
but for tonight,
I'll put myself
on my priority list.
I'll convince myself
that it is all fine
to be very frail tonightㅡ
even just for tonight,
I'll be honest with myself.
but to tell you honestly,
I am here,
but for me,
I was already gone.
"being myself tonight"